Posted by | Madison | in Links

• The ones on TV are good but these are absolutely priceless.  [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Eli Manning is unstoppable, just like Takayasu’s Arteritis (pulseless disease).  [The Angry T]
• One fan’s eschatology of Sports Illustrated in light of Brett Favre being named Sportsman of the Year.  Tony Dungy?  [The Starting Five]
• One man’s scatology of 2girls1cup in light of the male/female power dynamic.  It would have been a 100% if the author had mentioned Laura Mulvey’s landmark work on male gaze.  [Totally Crap {how fitting}] 
• Marshawn Lynch has a blog.  [Yardbarker]
• …untapped poetic talent.  [Sportsbiotch]
• …an eagle-eyed editor. [Yardbarker]
• Making a deal with the devil doesn’t count as cheating.  Does it?  [Throwing into Traffic]

Posted by | Madison | in Weekly Recaps

One of my girls successfully defended her dissertation and became a doctor today which meant that we all had to go out to celebrate. Thankfully the bar/restaurant we met up at had the game on a number of televisions all around us. While they all drank lemon drop shots, munched on happy hour appetizers, and celebrated with the new doctor, I sat in the corner with my margaritas watching the Ravens stick with the Patriots for 3 and 3/4 quarters.

I have to admit that I was a little drunk around 4 minutes in the 4th quarter so I’m not sure if my sick feeling came from one too many margaritas or if I just knew that once again the Patriots would march down the field and score.

When the Ravens stopped Tom Brady’s quarterback sneak on 4th and 1, I jumped up, almost knocking over the table of food and drink. A party foul indeed but well worth it since the Ravens can run out the…

TIME OUT RAVENS!!??

WHAT THE FUCK??

Just like Joe Gibbs’ consecutive timeout call yesterday, I couldn’t believe what was happening.

The Ravens had the perfect defensive play call. In that situation, the Patriots are like 93% quarterback sneak. And Rex Ryan ran up the sidelines to call a timeout to lose the game for his team. Usually I’d pin a Ravens loss on Brian Billick but tonight, it was all Rex Ryan.

Then, lest we forget, the invisible holding call in the end zone on a pass that Ben Watson probably could not have caught, which of course led to the Tom Brady to Jabar Gaffney touchdown pass. As if none of us that stupid shit coming from ten miles away.

And then, the unsportsmanlike conduct call and the complete hail mary to Mark Clayton at the one-yard line with no timeouts left?  I seriously almost had a heart attack.

Ugh.

The pessimist inside me says that all of this spells c-o-n-s-p-i-r-a-c-y.

The optimist inside me says that the Patriots riddle has been solved.  This week proved that last week wasn’t a fluke.  Now we just need a team to hold the Pats to 27-30 points and be able to score 33.

Steelers, anybody?

Posted by | Alikat | in Monday Night Picks

So you all can give me some crap this week for an awful Sunday. Sorry to all you sports betting junkies out there who tune in to HCHP’s. I really blew it yesterday by going 1-4 on the day in the Money Picks. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. I mean what in the Hell was Sean Payton thinking with the ‘Superdome Special Play’? Give me a break! The Broncos forgot they were in need of a Win against a back-up QB named Josh McCown and the Browns couldn’t stop making mistakes all over the desert. The worst Sunday of picks all year. I hope I got that out of my system so we can get on with a Great last quarter of the season here in December. The only bright spot in my day yesterday was watching the Ass Kickin the Vikings put on the Lions. I tried telling all you Lions fans that you were way overrated earlier in the season, but you just didn’t want to listen to me. You are now entering a stretch of the season where you have to play the Cowboys, Chargers, and Packers all without the services of WR Roy Williams. Best of luck to you!

For tonights Monday Night Game, I gotta say it feels a little hard to wager on a point spread of 18 points. That is a ton of points in an NFL game and yet if anyone can cover that, it is the Patriots. The Over/Under of 46 points might make more sense yet the Ravens are horrific on offense so it still falls on the Pats to do all the work in this one. I would like this game if the line was Pats -16.5 where you could get a cover with 2 touchdowns and a field goal, but with it at 18 you essentially have to cover with 3 touchdowns. If I had to play this game or if you just Need to have some Action on the game I would go with playing the over 46 and the Pats -18. So again…

TAKE THE PATS -18 and the Over 46

Bet Ya–

ALIKAT

Posted by | Madison | in Weekly Recaps

Week 13 and bad mojo is abound.  We all know that 13 is an unlucky number.  But why?  In the context of a Baker’s dozen, 13 seems to be quite a delicious number as the 13th muffin, donut, or cupcake baked is meant to prevent shorting an order for a dozen because you know one is gonna be eaten.

Personally, I can’t wait to get Week 13 over with as it has been a terrible week on all fronts.  Here’s to hoping that the week is also unlucky for the Patriots.

Green Bay 27, Dallas 37:  Green Bay’s game plan of short slant patterns obviously works.  Aaron Rodgers proved it.  So why didn’t McCarthy wait to implement it until Brett Favre got injured?  McCarthy’s got no one to blame but himself for the Packers two losses this season.  On the other side of the ball, fortified by the love of one Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo continues to roll.  *sigh*

San Diego 24, Kansas City 10:  Though the Chargers control their own destiny, they know that a relapse of Norv Turner Disease can strike at anytime.  It certainly helps when L.T. is playing like L.T. of old.  And before anybody gets too excited, let’s not forget that it was Chiefs, who are headed for their worst season in two decades.

Jacksonville 25, Indianapolis 28:  This game was emblematic of the entire Jaguars’ season as it asked and answered the two biggest questions for the Jags: Can the Jags catch the Colts?  Probably.  Will the Jags catch the Colts?  Probably not.  In a sad turn of events, Craphonso Thorpe did not play.

San Francisco 14, Carolina 31:  You want to know what Eli Manning is going to look like at 35?  Trent Dilfer.  Except without the Super Bowl ring.

Buffalo 17, Washington 16:  What a heartbreaking way to lose.  Obviously the Redskins had a few more pressing things on their mind than this game but Hall of Fame coach Joe Gibbs must have known the no double timeout rule.

Houston 20, Tennessee 28: That’s one way to cure Uncle Rico’s recent losing streak: match him up against Sage Rosenfels.  It was even a pretty good stat line for Uncle Rico.  Meanwhile, Matt Schaub is getting hurt like his name was Kurt Warner.

Seattle 28, Philadelphia 24:  A.J. Feely is proving himself to be the “alpha” release of Jeff Garcia; he keeps the Eagles in games that real Jeff Garcia would have won.  If Father of the Year Andy Reid can cure Feely’s interception problem, then…nah, the Eagles don’t have a chance.  When Alikat and I saw Shaun Alexander take a couple of his runs, we straight vomited as if we were watching 2girls1cup in full high definition, plasma glory.  Will that dude please put us out of our misery and just retire?

Jets 40, Miami 13:  Mangina takes a page from his mentor’s playbook and runs up the score…on the Dolphins.  Real classy, Eric.

Detroit 10, Minnesota 42:  I guess the Psychic Friends will not be adding Jon Kitna to their network this year.  Forget winning ten games, the Lions are going to have to pray hard to even have a shot at the playoffs now that the Vikings control their own destiny in the wildcard chase.  Who would have thought that the Vikings be resurrected like they have been?  Purple Jesus, obviously.   How the hell was he able to play with a ligament tear in his knee?  He floated over the football field, of course.  How dare you question his powers?

Atlanta 16, St. Louis 28: The Rams tie with the Niners for the race for last place out in the NFC West.  Chris Redman almost makes it a game in the 4th quarter.  Maybe this is the time for Redman to kick start his career now that he’s been reunited with Bobby Petrino.  I doubt it but if he does, you heard it here first.

Denver 20, Oakland 34:  The Raiders are still not dead yet.  They have their sights set on second place in the AFC West. A very difficult final four games makes it unlikely that they’ll get there but if Huggy Bear Jr. can keep chugging along for 140+ yards, they’ll make a sporting effort.

Cleveland 21, Arizona 27:  Vengeance belongs to the junior varsity Rams (circa Y2K) in the JV rematch of Super Bowl XXXVI.  As per usual, the expected high scoring affair turned into a defensive struggle of sorts.

Giants 21, Chicago 16:  Though the Giants won, I’m not sure they (Eli and his no leadership having ways) have recovered from last week’s drubbing at the hands of the Vikings.  Whatever, I should just take the win, shut the fuck up and be excited that the Giants are going to back into the playoffs again.  Of course then I would be on Prozac and I have an aversion to big pharma.

Tampa Bay 27, New Orleans 23:  A little too fancy, Saints.  With three minutes remaining, leading by three after getting a prayer of a safety, it’s no time to be fancy…in a divisional game…against the division leaders…with your playoff hopes at stake…allowing backup Luke McCown to go off for 300+ yards.  Apparently, the “Superdome Special” does not include les bon temps.

Cincinnati 10, Pittsburgh 24:  Have the Steelers righted their ship from the loss to the Jets and the 3-0 defeat of the Dolphins?  I’m not so sure.  Though the defense looked good against the Carson Palmer, the Bengals also helped bungle every opportunity in the 4th quarter to swing the momentum of the game.  And with Fast Willie’s gajillion fumbles and Big Ben’s INT, the Bengals had plenty of opportunities to bungle, as is their wont.  The Steelers will not have the same luxury next week against the Pats.  Hopefully Tomlin will get his house right and knock the team back in sync.

Posted by | Alikat | in Weekly Picks

So I ended up being wrong on the Packers vs Cowboys game! All you sports betting freaks out there know it’s time for a little comeback this Sunday. The game did come pretty close to my totals prediction though and although he wasn’t playing very well at the beginning, Favre would have made a great comeback in the second half had he been healthy. I just don’t know what McCarthey was thinking with his play calling in the 1st and 2nd quarters. Too much bombs away and not enough of the short passing game that had been so successful for them the entire year. Oh well, it’s on to the Sunday Games!

Money Picks

1. Seahawks +3 @ Eagles

Just because the Eagles stayed with the Pats last Sunday Night doesn’t mean they’ve turned the corner as a team. They still have huge problems in the secondary and that was a once in a lifetime performance for A.J. Feeley. The Seahawks are playing up to their potential right now and I gotta feeling old Alexander just might want to show the NFL he’s still around. Baldy Matt will get it done in the 4th quarter so…

TAKE THE SEAHAWKS +3

2. Bucs +3 @ Saints

We still don’t know if Jeff Garcia is going to be able to play in this game due to his sore back. It’s sounding like he won’t and even if he does he’s not going to have the mobility that is his trademark. Luke McCown isn’t going to get it done and neither will Gradkowski. This is a MUST WIN Game for the Saints unless they want to start making travel plans for 2008.

TAKE THE SAINTS -3

3. Browns +1 @ Cardinals

The JV Patriots come into the Crazy Desert for a showdown with the inconsistent Cards. Boy did they blow that game last week against the 49ers. They are going to be missing S Adrian Wilson, which is a huge blow to their Defensive backend. He is to the Cards what Rodney Harrison is to the Patriots. They both bring the intensity and leadership that you just can’t measure on paper. The Browns have too many weapons for the Cards to handle and if they don’t drink the desert water on Saturday Night they will come out on top by a touchdown.

TAKE THE BROWNS +1

4. Jaguars +6.5 @ Colts

This game should be a good one with 1st place in the AFC South on the line. The Jags have been one of the most consistent teams in the league this year and Jack Del Rio would love to avenge that Monday Night Loss to the Colts earlier this year. The Colts are starting to get healthy again though and Peyton is due for a HUGE GAME. Hell, he watched how bad his brother played last week and figures somebody better uphold the Manning Name. This game will be close for 3 quarters and then I think Manning will put up some fast points and the Colts…

TAKE THE COLTS -6.5. If you see them at -7 either buy down the 1/2 point or PASS on this bet. They are -6.5 right now on betonline

5. Broncos -3.5 @ Raiders

The Broncos are in a Must Win situation going against another McCown, this time Josh. Why don’t we see the McCown Father all over TV like we do Archie Manning? Can anybody tell me where these kids came from? The Raiders can run the ball and the Broncos sure as hell can’t defend the run, but Shanahan will load up the box on these guys and make Josh beat them deep. We all know that’s not going to happen so here’s to Cutler having a great day and maybe we’ll finally get to see an appearance by Jamarcus Russell.

TAKE THE BRONCOS -3. Buy down the 1/2 point or take a risk with the -3.5 line. I really believe the Broncos will win this by a touchdown, but I tend to get a little conservative when I see that HOOK sitting there on a 3 point line, especially in a divisional rivalry game.

THE REST OF THE BUNCH

1. Falcons +3 @ Rams

Does anybody really care about this game outside Atlanta and St. Louis? They are both playing for next year or draft picks in 2008. The Rams have a healthy Stephen Jackson and the Falcons have Joey Harrington.

TAKE THE RAMS -3

2. Bills +6 @ Redskins

I’m not going to sanction Betting on This Game due to the tragedy of Sean Taylor’s Death. I hope the Redskins are able to come out and play well for their fallen teammate. It is going to be an emotional roller coaster for that organization over the next 48 hours. I wish them the best and my thoughts go out to the Taylor Family and the Redskin organization in their time of grief.

3. Lions +4 @ Vikings

Well it doesn’t look so hot for the Lions anymore does it Detroit Fans. I’ve been waiting for the clock to strike midnight on you guys. The Vikings are starting to get more and more Big Plays on Defense and T-Jack is playing better at QB. I just hope ‘Purple Jesus’ stays healthy tomorrow, we’re going to need him over the next decade. Kitna will get sacked at least 5 times tomorrow and the psychic friends network can wait another year until they hire ole Jonny Kitna.

TAKE THE VIKINGS -4

4. Texans +3.5 @ Titans

The Titans better get it going or a season that was looking pretty good only 3 weeks ago will be over faster than Pacman Jones can throw dollars at a stripper. It sounds like they are going to finally get Albert Haynesworth back tomorrow which should shore up their D-Line. The Texans can score quickly if Matt Schaub gets a little time so this game should be close. In the end Vince Young will make a play to save the season for the Titans!

TAKE THE TITANS -3.5

5. Jets +1.5 @ Dolphins

I really don’t have much to say about this game other than hopefully in a couple of years the 2 young QB’s in this game, John Beck for the Dolphins and Kellen Clemens for the Jets will be playing for a whole lot more than they will be on Sunday. The Mormon will get his first win…

TAKE THE DOLPHINS -1.5

6. Chargers -6 @ Chiefs

The Chargers never play well in Arrowhead stadium and now they have to do it with the dreaded Norv Turner STD. You at least get to take the Chiefs on with Damon Huard as their starting QB. The Chargers have been looking good on offense lately and the Chiefs couldn’t score if you gave them a bottle of tequila and a naked Britney Spears!

TAKE THE CHARGERS -6

7. 49ers +3 @ Panthers

The 49ers just might start making a little late season run here. I’m kidding! They did show some flashes of the team they were supposed to be last week in Arizona. If Frank Gore runs around like he did last week they will walk away with this game. The Panthers are just brutal right now and have yet to Win a Home game this year.

TAKE THE 49ERS +3

8. Giants -1.5 @ Bears

I sure hope for Eli’s sake that he has somewhat of a good game or else the N.Y. Post might just throw rocks at his car or some crazy shit! The Bears counter with Sexy Rexy. Man, if you could be a fly on the wall in the Dive Bars of Chicago and NYC tomorrow late afternoon! I would love to hear some of the Drunken Poems that come out of the mouths of die hard fans who have $100 bucks on either of these two QB’s! In the end I think the Giants pass rush will get to Rex, but then Devin Hester will probably find a way to score as a wide receiver since the Giants surely are smart enough to not kick it to him, right? You see where I’m going with this? Just watch this game and all the soap opera aspects to it without having to sweat the money, okay!

TAKE THE GIANTS -1.5. Only if you are a true Gambling Junkie should you play this game. It’s just too crazy!

9. Bengals +7 @ Steelers

The Bengals are starting to play much better as of late. Getting WR Chris Henry back has helped along with Chad Johnson finally finding the endzone again. I think this game will be close, but in the end I like the ability of the Steelers to run against a really mediocre linebacking crew of the Bengals.

TAKE THE STEELERS -7

So there you have it sports betting junkies. I’ll give you my Monday Night Pick on Monday afternoon. Have a great Sunday and we’ll talk soon!

Bet Ya–

ALIKAT

Posted by | C.J. | in News, Random Posts of Randomness

If you’re anything like me you have sexy curves, legs that go on for days and silky smooth hair. Also, you’ve been eagerly awaiting the release of ‘21′, the film adaptation of Ben Mezrich’s above pictured book, Bringing Down The House. Now while this may not have a lot to do with sports betting per sey it’s about blackjack which takes place in a casino so I say close enough. Also, it’s my blog, so…I win. Now, a little backstory on this book which I actually assume most of you have read…

The book Bringing Down The House - about a group of MIT students who start a card counting team to rip off casinos for millions of dollars - is one I read a couple years back when it first came out. It was a fascinating read and I finished the book in a night (though, admitadly this was from a time when I finished a lot of books in one night). Anyway, I think I read it actually the day it hit stores because I recall quite distinctly reading in Variety THE NEXT DAY that Kevin Spacey had purchased the rights. Needless to say, I’ve been following this project’s gestation over the years from one mediocre director to another. There was a period of time where I thought it might not get made, but then Robert Luketic (of Legally Blonde fame) got a hold of it, changed the name to 21 and wah-lah…you have the trailer I’m linking to now: where the Asian kids became white, the professor becomes evil, Vegas becomes a bad blue screen and music of The Doors somehow becomes relevant to a generation of kids four decades removed. You do the math. Now, some quick things I’d like to kvetch about (you know, aside from them massacring a great book and turning it into a mediocre movie)…

FIRST: What’s the difference between Kate Bosworth and a vaccum cleaner with a picture of Kate Bosworth’s face taped to it’s handle? Nothing. They have exactly the same amount of range and elicit exactly the same emotional response from a viewer.

SECOND: Film makers who make films in Las Vegas should know that - I swear to god - the town is larger than just it’s most famous street. I hate hate hate when I see movies set in Vegas that take place solely on The Strip, as if one block in any other direction is nothing but desert. Also, locals don’t hang out on The Strip. Some of us work there, but we really don’t spend every waking hour there. Just like New Yorkers don’t spend their free time at the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

THIRD: Is there any statement more clice, more cloying, more gag inducing then the ultra awful “In Vegas…” lines such as “In Vegas, you can become anyone you want.” Uggggh. I can’t help but believe that’s so awful even Bosworth had to fight to say it with a straight face.

Now while I’ll reserve judgement of this movie until I see it, it’s safe to say the people who cut the trailer work with what they’re given. This book was Oscar caliber material and they put it in the hands of hacks (seriously, if you haven’t read it I suggest you check it out. Great book and a very quick read). I was very excited about this movie up until the time I saw the trailer. Anyway, with that said…

Here’s the trailer for ‘21′. Let me know what you think. On the trailer. The book. Bosworth. Whatever.

Posted by | Alikat | in Weekly Pick's Recap

Hey Ya’ll Sports Betting Freaks! Get your Drawl on for one helluva match-up tonight in the Big D! HCHP’s is coming off yet another 4-2 weekend in the Money Picks. Are you making Money Yet? You should be if you have been listening to me the past 6 weeks. This was our 3rd week in a row where we went 4-2. If it wasn’t for the Fucking Debacle in Chicago from the entire Denver Broncos team we would have been 5-1. That was the toughest loss I’ve suffered in a long time. I was set to really ‘Clean Up Money Wise’ and was telling my Dog Dante how ‘In the money we were going to be’ with 5 minutes left in the game. I put the blame on Shanahan for not making sure everybody understood that under no circumstances whatsoever do you kick the Fuckin’ Ball to Devin Hester! I don’t know what more evidence you need to get that through to your Punter and everybody else on the squad, especially when you had a kick off returned against you earlier in the game. Well, enough with the past as we have possibly the best game of the weekend coming up tonight in Dallas.

Everywhere you turn in this game the match-ups are amazing. The Pack have a tremendous D-Line that gets to the QB very well matched up against an enormous O-Line of the Cowboys. You’ve got Al Harris matched up against Terrell Owens and both Linebacking crews are playmakers who will stick you. Last, but obviously not least is ‘The Old Gunslinger vs the New Kid on the Block’ at the old corral! Favre against Romo. This could get FUN Kids. Come to think of it Romo does look like he could have been a ‘New Kid’ back in his teenage years.

The key to this game in my opinion will come down to which QB stays away from a devastating interception on their own side of the 50 yard line. The INT that 2 plays later turns into 7 points for the other team. If they both stay away from this kind of mistake then it gets into what O-Line can establish the line of scrimmage. I feel the Packers can get to Romo a few times, especially early on and disrupt him. The Cowboys could very well counter with running Barber III on draws and getting him out on some screens to take away that aggressive pass rush. I do think the Cowboys will have a harder time containing the quick hitting slant patterns the Packers run so well than the Packers will have with containing TE Jason Witten in the Cowboys Pass Offense.

As I run the numbers in this game it looks like it should come down to a 31-31 Tie! Even giving the Cowboys a 4 point Home Field Advantage makes this game a likely 31-27 or 34-28 type of game. The Line in this game right now on betonline.com is Cowboys -7! I’ve looked at this game from the standpoint that you have to assume, given the way the Cowboys have been playing at home this year, they will score 28-34 points. That means the Packers need to score roughly 24-27 points to stay within the spread with a good possibility of them scoring 28-31. The Packers have one of the better defenses the Cowboys have seen this year as well as having ‘Old Man’ Favre at the Helm. Given that this game is for all the playoff advantages next month, you have to side with the underdog and a full touchdown of points.

Money Pick #1 of the Week

Packers +7 @ Cowboys

TAKE THE PACKERS +7

So there you go Freaks. Enjoy the game and I’ll be back on Saturday with my Picks for the Sunday Games!

Bet Ya–

ALIKAT