Posted by | Madison | in Weekly Recaps, Playoffs

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If I wrote “Manning leads his team to the Championship Game,” you’d immediately assume that I was talking about Peyton and that’s why when you make assumptions, you make an ass out of u and mption.

Eli and Big Blue have made it to the NFC Championship game!  Since I’m still partying it up like a co-ed on Spring Break looking for a Joe Francis camera crew to flash, this is going to be quick.

Seattle 20, Packers 42:  Hey Seahawks fans, I guess it’s time to start packing up your lockers while singing your intro music, huh?  I mean, jeez, you get spotted 14-points in the first 5 minutes and then only manage another 6 in the remaining 55 minutes?  Bittersweet indeed.  Get to stepping…or flying or whatever the hell it is you guys do and if you want to win anything of merit, change your goddamn theme song.

Jacksonville 20, New England 31:  Yeah, yeah, the Patriots won by wearing down the Jaguars in the second half.  I get it.  They’re good.  But they’re really in for it now because next week, they have to face…

San Diego 28, Indianapolis 24:  The Bolts?!  Holy fuck.  This just goes to show that resting your starters at the end of the season only serves to hurt you, not to help you.  The Colts, as per usual, rested Manning and company in the last game of the season.  In their first playoff game, they were sloppy and undisciplined against a San Diego team that was not only handicapped by the Norv Turner Disease, but also lost LaDainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers to injuries.  I don’t know if it was simply that the Bolts wanted it more but the Colts just weren’t (playing Craphonso Thorpe) in rhythm while…

Giants 21, Cowboys 17:  The Giants played all their starters - and played hard - in their last, “meaningless” game against the Patriots, and now, like I predicted, they have momentum and have parlayed it into a compelling playoff run.  Eli is proving more patient than I gave him credit for.  Not only did he stay at second base, he made sure that his time there was well spent, fondling my boobies for three hours and sending Big Blue into the NFC Championship game!  Talk about foreplay.

After the game, during the post-game interview, I was praying that he would look into the camera and say, “Eat this, Peyton, I got your ticket to Lambeau for next week but you’re on your own for the airfare asshole!”

Now, off to find someone to flash.

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Posted by | Alikat | in Weekly Picks

So here we are sports betting kids. The best weekend in football is here and I must say that although I’m looking forward to all of these games from a fan’s point of view, I don’t like the betting lines all that much. The favorites are getting huge numbers and even though I love to bet the underdogs a lot there is something that tells me there could be a couple of blowouts this weekend. Frankly, this is one of the most difficult set of games to handicap that I’ve had all year long. So I will take my shots and see where the ball bounces.

Seahawks +7.5 @ Packers

This could be a great game in the frozen tundra or the Pack may just blow the Hawks right out of the Snow! The Seahawks are a very different team on the road than they are at home. The Pack are looking for that old Playoff Magic they had back in the 90’s. I’m thinking that Favre has a great game and closes it out in the 4th quarter, but it will be tough going for awhile. My heart is with the Pack, but as a bettor I must go with the points and the Hawks.

TAKE THE SEAHAWKS +7.5

Jags +13.5 @ Patriots

Many people are thinking that the Jags have the best shot to upset the Perfect Team. My guess here is that the Pats come out smoking and never look back. They have been sitting around for 2 weeks now with nothing to do except contemplate their legacy. If they lose in the playoffs, especially the first game, the whole season goes down the drain! You know Tom Brady and the Boys are not going to let that happen. The line has moved 2 full points since it opened at 11.5 and my guess is that they can still cover it. I just have a feeling if any game this weekend has the potential for a blowout it’s this one. The Jags secondary gave up a ton of points to the Pittsburgh offense in the 2nd half last week so you can be sure that Brady and Co. are going to get their licks in. Randy Moss has been dreaming of this game for the past 4 years and he finally has the QB to finish the job. The Jags dream season comes to an end tomorrow night.

TAKE THE PATS -13.5

Chargers +9 @ Colts

The Colts are finally healthy and nobody has been talking about them. That’s pretty scary given the run they had last year during the Playoffs. The Chargers always seem to play the Colts tough and they should give them another run for their money in the RCA Dome. I think the Colts will have too much firepower for the Chargers to match as we move through 4 quarters and in the end Peyton gets it done. The Chargers will make it very interesting though.

TAKE THE COLTS -9

Giants +7.5 @ Cowboys

Eli takes the next step towards Manhood by going into Dallas and bringin’ down the Boys. Can you just picture Madison getting all hot as the final minutes are ticking away on the Romo season and Eli throws a strike to Plaxico in the corner of the end zone! I do think the Boys probably win this game in the final drive, but it’s gonna take some Jerry Jones luck or some boneheaded Giant mistake to pull it off. The Giants are feeling it right now and the Cowboys are in for some trouble come Sunday.

TAKE THE GIANTS +7.5

So enjoy the best weekend in Pro Football over the next 2 days and we’ll talk to you next week. By the way– Last week we were a sweet 3-1 ATS so we’ll see if we can continue the march into Championship Sunday.

Bey Ya–

ALIKAT

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Posted by | Madison | in Playoffs

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We have four big games on tap this weekend for the divisional round and they all look to be gems. I predicted 3 out of the 4 games in the Wild Card round and this weekend, I will be, how shall we say, raising the bar by also attempting to predict the scores.

Saturday:

Seattle at Green Bay (1:30 PM, EST): It is on tomorrow in Green Bay! The football purist in me sighs a bit but the pass-loving-throw-it-all-over-the-damn-place idiot in me is jumping for joy. Pitting pass vs. pass; Favre, the old master, vs. Hasselbeck, his apprentice who was shipped out of town; Holmgren, the old legend, vs. McCarthy, the new legend; there is simply not a better match up in the playoffs this year. The only way this shoot-out in the tundra can disappoint is if they end up not shooting it out but with the forecast a balmy 30 degrees with only a slight possibility of snow flurries, you know that they’re going to be putting the ball in the air, early and often.

Prediction: Seattle 31, Green Bay 34

Jacksonville at New England (8:00 PM, EST): This much I know: the Jags will punch the Patriots in the mouth.  How?  Well, I know that if they don’t come out and pound it at the Pats over and over and over again, they will surely lose, and since I am the captain of the Hateriots, I have to believe that the Jags will win.

Prediction: Jacksonville 30, New England 28

Sunday:

San Diego at Indianapolis (1:00 PM EST):  I think the Chargers’ prescription of Valtrex may have run out in the Wild Card round.  Like they took the whole damn bottle just to suppress Norv Turner Disease to make it to the Divisional round and now they have none left.

Prediction:  San Diego 24, Indianapolis 35

New York at Dallas (4:30 PM EST):  As a Giants fan, I LOVE this match up.  I love it, I love it, I love it.  Tony Romo is experiencing his late season burnout, has Jessica Simpson’s herpes and acne riddled face jinxing him, and has a bum thumb (it didn’t have to be like this Tony.  If you had just chosen me!).  Plus - Terrell Owens is not 100% with a high ankle sprain and two assistant coaches are off entertaining head coaching interviews.  I don’t cook but I can recognize a recipe for disaster from a mile away.  And I love it.  Eli just needs to be content and stay at second base with his manhood.   If he doesn’t try to steal third, Big Blue should have this game pretty well in hand.

Prediction: Giants 27, Dallas 20 

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Posted by | Madison | in Weekly Recaps, Playoffs

roflbot.jpgEli became a Man-ning!!

Okay, let’s slow down.   He hasn’t won anything yet, just a wild card playoff game against a Tampa Bay team that could not stretch the field with Joey Galloway hurt.

But fuck it, right?  Small victories.

And this girl has been hot all night long because while Eli might not have exactly become a man, he certainly got to second base…and with ease, I might add.

That’s hot.

Plus, as I was saying to Alikat, I think Big Blue matches up nicely with a Cowboys team that features a hurt Tony Romo.  Atari, bitches - indeed.

Washington 14, Seattle 35:  I forgot to mention that while Seattle is heartless and soft, they play really, really well at home.  If that game was in Washington, the Redskins would have closed it out easy.

Jacksonville 31, Steelers 29: Who would have thought the Steelers would have so much fight in the second half?  If not for a missed gap assignment in late in the 4th quarter on that 4th and 2 32-yard scramble by David Garrard, this game could have gone the other way.  A great game.

Giants 24, Tampa Bay 14: In honor of Eli Manning’s great achievement, I present you this:

Tennessee 6, San Diego 17: This win could turn out to be the Chargers worst nightmare as they’ll have to deal with another year of the Norv Turner disease.

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Posted by | Alikat | in Weekly Picks

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We start the Sunday Wildcard Games with Madison’s Favorite Heartbreak team, the N.Y. Giants at Tampa Bay. The Giants are +3 point underdogs and are coming off their ‘Great Loss’ against the Patriots. The Bucs have been taking the last couple of weeks off to rest QB Jeff Garcia and other starters. The Giants are saying they have some Swagger back after competing with the Patriots last Saturday. Personally I think they played their playoff best last Saturday and they will be tired and flat against the rested Bucs.

The Bucs are +20 in turnover margin and give up only 11 points per game at home. You compare this with the fact that Eli Manning has thrown 20 interceptions and lost 7 fumbles this year and the Giants team has 15 giveaways this past month alone, most in the NFL. Now, the Giants have won 7 straight games on the road this year and they will put pressure on Jeff Garcia. The Giants are the #1 defense in the league in terms of sacks. One of the problems Coach Coughlin incurred during his need to play the Patriots tough last Saturday is the injuries of 3 key starters: (C) Shaun O’hara, CB Sam Madison, and LB Kawika Mitchell. The biggest one, in my opinion, is to O’hara. The Center is the toughest player on a team to replace and outside the QB position actually affects teams, in terms of betting, more than any other position on the field. Look for some problems with protection schemes and possibly a fumble on the exchange if O’hara isn’t able to return.

In the end I like the ability of the Bucs defense to make it a difficult day for Eli, especially in the red zone. CB Ronde Barber is one of the best corners in the game and he will have the job of covering Plexico Burress. Plexico will get his catches, but I don’t expect any huge plays against the Bucs secondary. The running game of the Bucs will eventually wear down the Giants and Old Man Joey Galloway will get his usual 50 yard bomb for a huge play or touchdown to seal the deal.

TAKE THE BUCS -3 at home!

Titans +10 @ Chargers

If you think the Giants have some injury problems you should see the Titans. Vince Young is a game time decision, Lendale White is banged up, (G) Benji Olsen looks like he won’t play, WR Roydell White broke his ankle on Wednesday so he’s out. He was Young’s go to receiver and with Young having problems with his quad it’s going to be interesting how the Titans do in 3rd and 6 or less situations. On the other side of the field you have the Chargers, who have been playing this past month like they did all of last year. They have gotten healthy over the past few weeks and have gotten their swagger back. They have been getting great pressure on the opposing QB’s and L.T. is finding space again in which to run wild.

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When these two teams met last month it was a crazy ass hard hitting game. There is no love loss between these two. I expect a bunch of great hits during this game with the Chargers getting the best of the Titans. The Chargers are much healthier and better equipped to handle the intensity of the physicality this game will present. I think it’s going to be very difficult for the Titans to put enough points on the board to win this game. Even though 10 points is a Ton of points, especially for a playoff game, I just see the Chargers releasing some of that pent up disappointment you know they still have from last year’s meltdown against the Patriots on the Titans tomorrow. The Chargers have too much L.T. and their D will make life very hard for either Vince Young or Kerry Collins.

TAKE THE CHARGERS -9.5. Buy down 1/2 point from -10 to remove yourself from the dreaded push.

Talk to you next week–

Bet Ya–

Alikat

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Posted by | Alikat | in Weekly Recaps, Weekly Picks

Sports betting Freaks worldwide, we have finally reached the time where we all sell our collective souls for the right to BE RIGHT about WHO WE THINK is the BEST in the NFL!

I just saw Madison’s Pick’s for the Weekend and I must say I disagree: With just a couple of them.

So let’s make this clear from the beginning: Every PICK from here on out will be a MONEY PICK! After all it is the playoffs!

Redskins +3.5 @ Seahawks

I like what the Redskins have done in the wake of Sean Taylor’s Death.  It is a remarkable feat in what individuals can do when surrounded by tragic circumstances.  I also am a realist when it comes to the NFL and it’s potential Money Making Ways.  The Redskins have been on a 4 game winning streak and I think it’s due for a LOSS.

The Seahawks are 7-1 at home and they allow around 16 points per game.  They rested a bunch of starters in Week 17, so they have some energy left to play this game.  The Redskins on the other hand have had to get Cross Country after only 5 days.  The Seahawks are a very different team at HOME.  I know the SKins have been playing great with Todd Collins at QB, but I expect that to change.  Other teams have finally had a chance to get enough film on Todd Collins and they will see that he is a statue in the pocket and that with enough pressure he we wilt in the GREAT SEAHAWK SKY!

Despite the fact that the SKins will get out on the corner of the Seahawk D with Portis and Betts, the decisive factor in this game will come from the fact that the Skins have played their collective hearts out for the past month.  All of that emotion takes a toll on a team.  The Seahawks are rested and have a lot at stake if they lose.  At home they are a very different team.  I recently spoke with a sports betting guy friend of mine who said, “You can’t imagine the Sound Level that is on the field”.  It’s LOUD and that make’s it worth 3 points in Favor of the Home Team!

TAKE THE SEAHAWKS -3!  Buy down from -3.5 just to make sure you are not pushing the bet.  I fully expect the Seahawks to win by 7-10 points tomorrow!

Jags -2.5 @ Steelers

The fashionable pick here is obviously the JAGS.  Afterall they beat the Steelers just a few weeks ago and they are the much more healthy than the Steel Curtain.  Everything is pointed in the Jags favor… And that’s precisely why I Like the Steelers in this game.  I know I’m going against the grain on this one, but despite the fact that the Steelers are severely banged up, I like the fact that they are at HOME and they ARE BANGED UP!

You never want to mess with a wounded animal.  Since I grew up in the country maybe I know a little more about this subject than most.  The Steelers do not want to be shown up 2 times in the past month at HOME!  I still can’t trust David Garrard to QB a Playoff game to Victory!  Big Ben has been there before and it’s just a hunch, but a 60% hunch, that the Steelers are going to leave everything they have left in the tank to Win This Game!  It’s tough to beat the same team 2 times in a row within the same season and I see this game coming down to a Home Team (Steelers) that just needs it a little more for psychological reasons than the Favorite (Jags) do.

TAKE THE STEELERS +3.  Buy the 1/2 point if you need to from +2.5!

I will have the other playoff picks posted here tomorrow!  Have a bunch of Beer on Saturday and I’ll get you those other two picks on Saturday!

Bet Ya–

Alikat

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Posted by | Alikat | in Weekly Pick's Recap

So the 2007 Sports Betting Season has come to an end and we here at HCHP’S couldn’t be more happy!  The Final End Tally is:  44 Wins 32 Losses 4 Pushes

That is  44-32-4 for the regular season of the NFL Season!

It works out to a WINNING PERCENTAGE OF 57.8%!

Most sports bettors don’t get near that kind of winning percentage.  In fact,  most Professional Vegas Gamblers only win at a rate of 55%, so we here at HCHP’S are doing just fine, thank you! In fact, since Week 6, we have been an astonishing 62.7% (32-19-2).

Now it’s on to the playoffs!  I just saw Madison’s picks and I must say I disagree with a couple of them, so we’ll see who is correct by the end of Sunday.

Right now I want to say that it’s been a fucking grind to play out the season, just like it is for the players of this tough league.  I want to thank all of you for tuning into HCHP’S the entire season for all of our rants and raves.  I think we had a great season on more than just one front and we look forward to Sports Betting Freakin’ with all of you over the next few seasons.  So in short here is a breakdown of our averages over the course of the NFL Regular Season:

Weeks 1-17:                44-32-4     57.8%

Weeks 6-17:                32-19-2     62.7%

To Breakdown our Winning Percentages for realistic purposes here is a sample:

If you Risked $100 per play for the entire season at an average rate of -110 per game you would have won–  $760

If you had risked $200 per game at a rate of -110 per game you would have won– $1,520

and if you had been playing at $500 per game risked, you would have won, over the course the regular season, $3,800!

Now it’s on to the playoffs!  I’ll have my picks coming out shortly after this post and I look forward to bringin’ home the bacon over the month of January!

Bet Ya–

Alikat

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