Posted by | Madison | in Season Previews

So the Parcells experiment in Dallas was not the overwhelming success that Jerry Jones and millions of Cowboy fans hoped it would be and furthermore, the Parcells/T.O. Project almost drove Owens to kill himself…or something.  But, the Tony Romo experiment turned out to be a smashing success, well, with the exception of the Butterfingers Incident.

Going into the season, the Cowboys have three main questions that need to be answered:

1) How will Tony Romo rebound from fumbling the field goal hold?  Or will he go down the road of Scott Norwood? 

Romo will be fine.  It’s not like it was for the Super Bowl win. 

It was “only” the Wild Card round, which is the equivalent of a girl deciding to go home with a borderline guy because they are bored; you are going home with a girl, which is an accomplishment in itself, but it wasn’t really because of you. You were just good enough.  This happens all the time.  Don’t question it boys, just be happy you’re going home with a girl.

2) How will Wade Phillips do in his first year as head coach?

It’ll be interesting to see how the team transitions from Parcells’ “My Way or the Highway” to Wade “I’m the son a Bum” Phillips’ more relaxed style.  It’s sort of like going from the strict Communist rule of East Germany to easy breezy West Germany before the fall of the Berlin Wall.  It is telling that Jerry Jones wants some semblance of order in his locker room since he opted for Wade Phillips rather than former Cowboys offensive coordinator Norv Turner.  That would have been like going from a strict dictatorship to the lawless wild, wild west. 

DeMarcus Ware is going to terrorize quarterbacks in Phillips’ system and we’re thinking that the defense will be in top shape by the first half of the season.  

3) The last one is a triple threat: Will T.O. stop being a team cancer?  Will he care this season?  Will Big-T Learn to share?   

No, but I don’t think it matters.  By the way, I need to wash some clothes.  Can someone get T.O. to do some more crunches in his driveway?  I’ll totally be there with my handwash only camisoles and undergarments. 

Posted by | Alikat | in Season Previews

So are the reigning Super Bowl Champions going to repeat in 2007?

I’d have to say that in both my sports betting opinion and sports fan opinion, the answer is a resounding…NO!

If you look around our site enough you’ll see that Madison is no fan of Peyton’s brother Eli (if our tagging system ever gets fixed, there’s even a tag for “Eli Manning Sucks” — Editor) and I’m here to tell you I’m one of the few people on the NFL planet that isn’t a fan of Peyton. Maybe it’s his herky-jerky throwing motion or the way he pouts like a 5-year-old child when things aren’t going his way.

The irony with Peyton is that he looks so much smoother acting on SNL and in commercials than he does throwing a football. I like big game winners at the QB position and even though he finally got that monkey off his back last year, it just didn’t look quite right.

I mean come on! The Ravens never play that bad at home and the Patriots never give up leads like they did in the second half of that Championship Game. It just looked like the towel boy had dropped some acid in the Gatorade buckets of both those teams.

All that being said the Colts will continue to score a bunch on offense this season despite losing Dominic Rhodes and Brandon Stokely. I like what I see so far out of Anthony Gonzalez (WR) from Ohio State. He’s going to fit in very well with this offense. The rest of the offense is starting to get up there a little in age so we’ll see if there are some nagging injuries that finally bite this club on this side of the ball.

Defense is where all the problems start. I know a bunch of you are yelling right now, “Our defense was superb during the playoffs last year.” Yeah it was and it was an aberration. Gone are (LB) Cato June, (CB) Nick Harper, (S) Mike Doss, and (DT) Anthony McFarland. All four were major contributors to that defense of a year ago.

Do you really think with all the talent in the AFC this year that the Colts are going to be able to survive with a defense that gives up points as quickly as Lindsay Lohan goes down on a line of coke?

The Colts have had their run for the last 4 years. Unfortunately for you Colts fans you were only able to get one trophy out of it. 2007 will be fun for a while but don’t expect a return to glory come February.

Posted by | Madison | in Season Previews

After hearing all the talk last year about Al Saunders’ 700-page play book, we spent the off season analyzing every single offensive snap of the Redskins’ 2006 season to experience his prodigious genius.  Much to our surprise however, the Redskins only ran four plays last year:

1. Hand off to Clinton Portis or Ladell Betts
2. Screen pass, with a skinny post
3. Slants, with a skinny post
4. Play action deep post

Granted, it was Saunders’ first year as Joe Gibbs’ offensive coordinator and you don’t just install a system that’s 700-pages long but come on, now - four plays? 

With an offense that has had a year and a full off season to absorb Saunders’ “playtome,” he will hopefully be able to call a more diverse range of plays for Jason Campbell, who took over the starting job from Mark “Wily Veteran” Brunell last year, to execute.   

It’s not like the Redskins aren’t loaded with weapons.  Betts, Portis, Chris Cooley, Santana Moss, Antwan Randle El, and Brandon Lloyd (whose diet consists of twenty egg whites and four chicken breasts, three liters of water, and a brownie - because he “likes them” - a day) can make plays so it falls squarely on Saunders and his encyclopedia of offense to put them in positions to make them.

Beyond that, I’m a little more concerned with the Redskins 31st ranked defense last year and that was from a defense that was expected to do well.  Though they addressed their weakness at linebacker by signing London Fletcher in the off season, it remains to be seen if they’ll be able to create any pressure up front. 

The progress of first round draft pick LaRon Landry seems to be very encouraging for the secondary.  With Sean Taylor arriving in camp with slimmer and stronger, he may get arrested again for armed assault, this time on the football field.  The two of them may kill somebody this year by hitting too hard.    

Posted by | Madison | in Season Previews

The Eagles’ 2007 season relies mainly on two things: Donovan McNabb’s and Jevon Kearse’s injured ACLs.

If you’re an Eagles fan, you’ll likely fall on the overly optimistic reports coming out of camp saying that McNabb is healthy, that he can plant, throw, and even cut. As for Kearse, you’re hoping that he returns with the same quickness that made him a deadly pass rushing threat.

If you’re not a fan, you’ll likely look at the facts and surmise that McNabb, who developed a reputation for being “soft,” may be a little skittish “planting,” “throwing,” and “cutting” when escaping the huge linemen and linebackers that will be bearing down on him once the season starts. And Kearse? His skills were already on the decline so it’s unlikely that he will return to playing at the Freak level.

Since I am not a fan AND a Giants fan, I’m predicting doom for the Iggles.

I totally forgot about Brian “Injury Risk” Westbrook. Who knows when that guy’s going to go down. He didn’t last year which means that it’s just a matter of time before he gets injured and the Eagles season goes down the drain.

Oh come on, Eagles fan, you’re not going to throw batteries at a girl…

Are you?

Okay, okay: I do like Trent Cole and Darren Howard, their other defensive ends. You still want to throw batteries? Try former first round pick Brodrick Bunkley. He better stopping eating the cheesesteaks and start figuring out how to stop the run like a first round defensive tackle is supposed to do. Montae Reagor and Takeo Spikes are nice additions to Jim Johnson’s pressure defense. If Spikes can rebound, the defense, with folks like Lito Shepard and Brian Dawkins could be dangerous.

But I go back to my original point regarding McNabb’s ACL. If he’s healthy, the Eagles will battle with Cowboys for the East. If not – if he’s skittish, can’t plant and throw, can’t scramble – the Iggles will probably be battling my Giants for last place.

There. That’s all the nice things I have to say about the Eagles. I’ve done my good deed for the week.

UPDATE:

Here’s IgglesBlog film review of Chris Gocong’s performance on MNF.

Niiiiiice.

Posted by | Madison | in Season Previews

I wasn’t going to post my preview of the Atlanta Falcons today but I’m a sucker for roses and thematic consistency and since it’s been such a Michael Ron Ookie Mexico Vick sort day, here it is:

You think Bobby Petrino wishes he was back at Louisville?

Maybe, maybe not.  Joey Harrington was a system quarterback in Oregon and Petrino’s system may fit Harrington’s skills better than the West Coast system he ran in Detroit.  Based solely on the system’s requirement of a high completion percentage, it certainly fits Harrington better than Michael Vick, not that Harrington is Joe Accurate but he’s more accurate than Vick.  Also, Joe Horn has joined the team which definitely will help the Falcons catch more passes than they will drop this season.

Since their passing game will undoubtedly improve (it can’t get much worse, even with Harrington), the key will be whether or not Petrino can get a solid, consistent power running game going.  The Falcons ranked first in rushing last year (based largely on Vick’s 1,039 yards) and  they are looking to second year back Jerious Norwood to help an aging Warrick Dunn gobble up yards on the ground.

The Matt Schaub trade, which may seem pretty idiotic now, did bring in a number of high draft picks, including Jamaal Anderson, who figures to help a frustrating defense.  And by “frustrating,” I mean it in the sense that it is talented yet injury prone at the top of the depth chart and not much else in the middle and bottom.

It probably would have a long season even with the consistently exciting and underwhelming Michael Vick.  The knock on him was always that while he had transcendent talent, he had horrible judgment and could not throw accurately.

Well, he finally proved all of us wrong.  He could throw.  Accurately too.  Too bad it was his career into the toilet.

You remember when Marcus Vick was getting into trouble and everybody was saying that maybe big brother should mentor him?  Maybe it should have been the other way around.

Marcus: “Hey, big bro, I know you’re into some criminal stuff to keep it gangsta, like all that dog fighting, but come on that’s so played out.  The real thrill is pulling guns on kids in fast food joints.  Like when they’re in the pool of balls?”

Michael: “Pool of balls?”

Marcus: “Yeah, bro.  We could hide in the jungle gyms and ambush them when they come down the slides.”

Michael: “Why would we want to hold up little kids at McDonalds?”

Marcus: “Milk money, dog.  Milk money.”

Posted by | Madison | in Season Previews

My youth in New York gave me two things: my hot chick cynicism and a begrudging love of the New York Giants. Gawd, the post-Simms/L.T. era in the 90’s was mediocre at best. There was that one good season in 1993 but other than that, it felt like a decade of three-and-outs.

The Dave Brown-Danny Kanell QB connection wasn’t cutting it and when Kerry Collins finally directed their way to the Big Game in 2000, they got waxed by the Ravens. Once again, three-and-out.

When the whole Manning drama was playing out three years ago, I screamed, “STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT MANNING BOY!”

And did they listen? Nope. I’m convinced it was because I’m a girl. Forget for a second that Philip Rivers has much more poise and heart than Eli but the thing that really gets my panties in a bunch is that the first round pick they traded with Rivers to the Chargers turned out to be Shawne Merriman and the third pick turned out to be Nate Kaeding, two Pro Bowlers.

YEEE!

As a fan, I have to look at the positives. And as far as I can see, there are none. Tiki Barber’s retired. Michael Strahan has left a gap in the defense as wide as the one in his mouth. Will Demps is way too sexy for me and his dislocated shoulder. Coach Tom Coughlin will have a tough time keeping the team focused and together.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. Osi Umenyora and Mathias Kiwanuka look to lead a defense which would be a lot better if Strahan decided to play another year. Plaxico and Shockey are dangerous if their heads are on straight. And hopefully Kevin Gilbride will have all the solutions for Manning’s many deficits. It’s not like the NFC East is going to super tough. The Eagles depend solely on McNabb’s repaired knee and the Redskins are at best a .500 team which leaves the G-Men in a spot to slug it out with the Cowboys for the top spot.

Again, though, that’s the glass half-full scenario. Reality check tells me to get ready for another year of three-and-outs.

By the way, I love this kid. Not only is he dead on the money in his assessment of the Giants team chemistry, he’s got a totally cute southern accent, mild Parkinson’s and one of those serial killer basements. Hot.

I think you’ll be seeing much more of Kige Ramsey, aka: YouTube user SlyFox4569, a rising media star if I ever saw one, this year. Does anyone else think he’s sort of a cross between Christopher Walken and Hank Hill?