Because I’ve received a few e-mails to this effect I figured I’d clear up any misconceptions and simply say that no, the three of us are not dead, it’s just that time of the month:

Christmas Shopping. Why? What’d you think I meant, perv?

No, actually, all joking aside, I have something to confess. While the official line is that Ali is still in Hawaii and Maddy is in Wis-Kahn-Sin, the real story is far more sordid. I say this because I think we’ve become close over these few months, and I hope that maybe in discussing it, I can help some of you or someone that you know or love. You see, the two have gotten sucked into a new underground form of street fighting that’s becoming more and more popular in Los Angeles. It started as a gang initation ritual a couple years back amongst the Bloods but has now taken on a life of it’s own amongst the apathetic working class. Perhaps you’ve heard of it: Boob Slapping. In fact, I don’t mean to out the two but Maddy is going by “Spanish Barbie” and Ali is using the alias “Bella” and as you’ll see from this video, their first face-off was pretty scary. I must warn you, though, the footage is graphic so if you have kids in the room you might want to tell them to leave before viewing it.

Provided you’re not too traumatized from watching that, I have to say that while my two co-bloggers may have gotten sucked into this sick sick world of violence and pervserion, I have not. In fact, I’m working hard to inform people about the dangers of Boob Slapping, and it’s sad off-shoot that high schoolers are now partipciating in: Backyard Boob Slapping.

Call me “square” if you like but I believe things like this are what’s ruining our country. Now, I know, Boob Slapping is an issue too raw and real for even most of the Presidential candidates to address (did you see Mitt Romney duck that reporter’s question about Mormon Boob Slapping? that’s gonna cost him in Iowa!). That’s why I’m going door to door in support of Mike Gravel’s campaign, as he’s the only candidate with the GUTS to even discuss this issue. In fact, if you go to his web site you can read his position on the issue, right after his thoughts on Iraq, Immigration, and Those Damn Kids With Their Loud Music And Colored Hair. In fact, if you were to ask me what I want for Christmas, I’d tell you that all I really want is to have my girls back.

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If you’re anything like me you have sexy curves, legs that go on for days and silky smooth hair. Also, you’ve been eagerly awaiting the release of ‘21′, the film adaptation of Ben Mezrich’s above pictured book, Bringing Down The House. Now while this may not have a lot to do with sports betting per sey it’s about blackjack which takes place in a casino so I say close enough. Also, it’s my blog, so…I win. Now, a little backstory on this book which I actually assume most of you have read…

The book Bringing Down The House - about a group of MIT students who start a card counting team to rip off casinos for millions of dollars - is one I read a couple years back when it first came out. It was a fascinating read and I finished the book in a night (though, admitadly this was from a time when I finished a lot of books in one night). Anyway, I think I read it actually the day it hit stores because I recall quite distinctly reading in Variety THE NEXT DAY that Kevin Spacey had purchased the rights. Needless to say, I’ve been following this project’s gestation over the years from one mediocre director to another. There was a period of time where I thought it might not get made, but then Robert Luketic (of Legally Blonde fame) got a hold of it, changed the name to 21 and wah-lah…you have the trailer I’m linking to now: where the Asian kids became white, the professor becomes evil, Vegas becomes a bad blue screen and music of The Doors somehow becomes relevant to a generation of kids four decades removed. You do the math. Now, some quick things I’d like to kvetch about (you know, aside from them massacring a great book and turning it into a mediocre movie)…

FIRST: What’s the difference between Kate Bosworth and a vaccum cleaner with a picture of Kate Bosworth’s face taped to it’s handle? Nothing. They have exactly the same amount of range and elicit exactly the same emotional response from a viewer.

SECOND: Film makers who make films in Las Vegas should know that - I swear to god - the town is larger than just it’s most famous street. I hate hate hate when I see movies set in Vegas that take place solely on The Strip, as if one block in any other direction is nothing but desert. Also, locals don’t hang out on The Strip. Some of us work there, but we really don’t spend every waking hour there. Just like New Yorkers don’t spend their free time at the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

THIRD: Is there any statement more clice, more cloying, more gag inducing then the ultra awful “In Vegas…” lines such as “In Vegas, you can become anyone you want.” Uggggh. I can’t help but believe that’s so awful even Bosworth had to fight to say it with a straight face.

Now while I’ll reserve judgement of this movie until I see it, it’s safe to say the people who cut the trailer work with what they’re given. This book was Oscar caliber material and they put it in the hands of hacks (seriously, if you haven’t read it I suggest you check it out. Great book and a very quick read). I was very excited about this movie up until the time I saw the trailer. Anyway, with that said…

Here’s the trailer for ‘21′. Let me know what you think. On the trailer. The book. Bosworth. Whatever.

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If you can watch all of it, you get a prize. I’m not sure what it will be but it I’m pretty sure that the package will include a seeing eye dog and a super high tech hearing aid because you won’t be able to see or hear afterwards.

I urge everybody who has lost their vision and/or aural senses due to this video to pledge more dollars to the KSK Bounty on Tom Brady’s knees. It was recently raised to $30. With your help, we might be able to get it up to $50 by next week. Personally, I don’t think we’ll see any action until $75.

Fuck you kids at With Leather for melting my brain.

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Not that I want to be the girl who blogs about contests all the time, but it’s a slow week, Maddy is still recovering from her trip to Wisconsin, and this little piece of news floating around my inbox just can’t go ignored. Apparently, b5 Media has announced a whole new slew of sports blogs that are going live this week and in order to kick things off they’re having - yes, you guessed it - a contest! Now this of course is not unusual, many blogs try and do this (ahem, cough cough) but something about the timing seems rather suspect. In fact, it seems like it was only yesterday that another sports blog had announced a contest. Hmmm. Let me see, yes, no, you know what? I just remembered! It was us. You’re on notice, b5 Media!

So what kind of cool prizes are they offering? Well you can read more about that in their press release, but I notice the list seems a little lite. A little - shall we say - weak. As if someone had an active weekend at the local garage sale, or airport gift shop and slapped together a few gift bags. I mean, it’s not like everyone can compete with a blog giving away a Free 42″ Flat Panel Plamsa HDTV. But then again, they are a giant, well financed network of blogs and we are just three girls with a dream. From a trailer park.

Don’t cry for me, Argentina, I’ll be fine, but I at least wanted to pass the information along to you guys. You know, in case any of you have David Beckham fever and want a free bobble head doll made to look like him (because his stint on the LA Galaxy is really taking us Yanks by storm). Or a teddy bear dressed in a sports uniform. Because I know how much guys love teddy bears. In fact, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my father, brothers and every boyfriend I’ve ever had, it’s that men love sharing their emotions. And having a good cry. And nothing helps facilitate that process more than a cuddly teddy bear.

I realize you’re all thinking ‘Is CJ picking a fight with b5 Media’s Sports Blogs? Starting a beef ala Kanye and Fiddy?’ Well…Maybe I am. And Maybe I AM.

But I’ll let you all decide. Check out their list of prizes and tell us what you think. And please. Don’t crash the server fighting each other to be the first to comment. One at a time, boys. One At A Time.

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While it’s not exactly related to sports betting, I felt compelled to put up the new commercial that Nike is running which is remarkable for so many reasons, not least of which being that it was directed by Michael Mann. The same Michael Mann who’s created such films as Heat, The Insider, Ali, Collateral and most recently, Miami Vice.

I think it’s a pretty damn visceral commerical - making you feel what it must be like to be on the field. You can tell from watching it that Mann clearly respects and admires the athletes who endure this kind of physical punishment. What do you guys think?

Bonus Points if anyone can name what movie the music in the commerical is from.

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This is the problem you run into when you’re trio of innocent girls trying to run a sports betting blog on this series of tubes. Any guesses what this recent visitor was up to?

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Who says there are no more pervs left in the internets?

He must have had a Comcastic date with Miss Palm with our hot week two picks.

Ewww. It skeeves me out just thinking about it. I think I have to take a shower.

Look boys. If you’re looking for the porn, please try to spell “pics” correctly, you illiterate, hooked-on-phonics, one hand typing motherfuckers.

Well, that is unless you find our sports betting picks so absolutely steamy, hot and stimulating that you just have to touch yourself. I’m sure Alikat will be pleased.

Huh. A sports betting pick fetish. That’s a new one…

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Sports betting babies out there what’s up? Just got done running with my boy Dante. He’s a Belgian Malinois that could take you out or lick you up! While I was out there getting a good sweat on I had a few thoughts come up that I felt needed an outlet.

1. Can we get the F… off this F…… ridiculous O.J Simpson soap opera!

I know more and more each day that America is going to go the route of The Roman Empire when I see the Media and supposedly major news organizations devote entire broadcasts towards an arrogant, sad, idiot that hasn’t done anything with the many gifts he was blessed with in the last 15 years except do a ton of Cocaine, Brutally Murder his ex-wife and an innocent victim, hang out in strip clubs, golf down in Florida, and collect the kinds of friends you wouldn’t want over for dinner at Tony Soprano’s house.

Has anybody else had enough of this celebrity/freak pulpit? Our glorious Media gives hours of playtime to morons (Yeah I’m also talking about the idiot that was beside Simpson’s attorney yesterday. The one who looks like the Billy Bob Thorton character from “U-Turn”) while the last time I checked we had some serious issues going on in this country that receive about one-tenth the playtime these crackpots do. Sorry to break it to you Sports Betting Zealots, but America is sliding down the river of decay faster than a Quarter Pounder w/cheese gets eaten by RB Lendale White!

2. Do people really think the Lions are going to Win This Week In Philly?

Come on guys! Everybody in the Philly organization knows if they lose this game the season is all but officially over. McNabb will have to start doing talk shows to make money because Kevin Kolb will be in as the starter in week 4. He’s got a lot of pride and the Lions haven’t exactly beaten the Colts and Patriots.

3. BAD LOSS FOR THE 49ers in LOSING (LB) MANNY LAWSON FOR THE SEASON!
Just when the Defense was starting to come together some for the 49ers they lose one of their best and brightest for the season due to a torn ACL. I was thinking of taking the 49ers and the points against the Steelers this Sunday, but now I seriously doubt it. Big Loss!

4. GREAT NEWS ABOUT KEVIN EVERETT
In a world that has gone MAD I would like to end this post on some HAPPY NEWS! Doctors are saying that Kevin Everett looks as if he will be able to begin walking in the next few weeks or maybe sooner. What a joy for him and his family not to mention the entire NFL and the Bills organization. The day he can return to the sidelines and watch a game standing up with his teammates… There will not be a dry eye in the stadium! Keep it up Kevin!

I’ll see ya all tomorrow when I make my weekend picks!

Bet Ya-
ALIKAT

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