Posted by | Madison | in News, October posts

ignignot_fuck_boston.jpgExcuse me as I go on a bit of a tangent on our little sports betting and football blog:

Q: Hey, Red Sox fans, your team just won the World Series, what are you going to do?

A: Fak Disneyland, we’ah gunna riot in d’streets!

Q: You guys won it in Colorado.

A: Fak Colorado.  The Yankees suck!  Go Pats!

Deuce of Davenport has a bunch of dark videos of Red Sox fans to prove it.

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Posted by | Madison | in News, October posts

The biggest game thus far in the season is on tap for Sunday. Thanks to the World Wide Leader, we now know it as “The Duel in Dallas.” Great. My life is complete.

Anyway, as usual, with these heavyweight match ups, it’s the mini match ups that are often the most interesting. Tom Brady vs. Tony Romo is no contest; Brady wins hands down in the hotness and quarterbackyness match up.

But what about the little battle of ka-razy at wide receiver? Terrell Owens vs. Randy Moss is a match up of CRAZY in line with the magnitude of the “Rumble in the Jungle.”

Here’s our tale of the tape of how the two wide receivers match up:

mossbadhair.jpgto2.jpg
PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS: Owens was abused by his father; Moss kicked high school teammates and was later kicked out of two college programs.

ADVANTAGE: Moss. Being abused gives Owens a “nurture” reason for his craziness. Moss’ crazy is pure “nature” and that is dangerous because it is not fully understood. If that sounds smart, that’s because it is. I read.

HEALTH REGIMEN: Owens sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber; Moss smokes pot.

ADVANTAGE: Owens, by a mile. Anytime you’re associated with Michael Jackson, the King of Crazy, you are in elite company.

OFF FIELD ACTIVITIES: Owens works out in the driveway, overdoses on pills, and still finds time to write children’s books; Moss runs over traffic cops.

ADVANTAGE: Owens is just way more prolific off the field than Moss is, who really needs to step it up in this category.

CANCER RISK: Owens called Jeff Garcia gay and turned Donovan McNabb into a shell of his former self; Moss had a coach create the Randy Ratio, left the field early in Minnesota, hated being in Oakland, and has been proud of taking plays off.

ADVANTAGE: Push. I’m inclined to give it to Moss but Owens ruined two pretty good teams. Moss is more of a silent killer while Owens is a more, in your face killer.

TAUNTING: Owens spiked the ball on the Dallas star twice and signed an autograph in the Seattle endzone; Moss mooned the fans in Green Bay.

ADVANTAGE: Owens, as the “original celebrator” in the NFL, has spawned so many imitators.

Overall winner: With a score of 3-1, Owens is the craziest receiver in the NFL. We had a prize package consisting of ten therapy sessions all worked out but decided that we’d rather spend Saturday at the spa. Sorry, T.O.

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