Posted by | Madison | in News

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Please.

A coach should exemplify sportsmanship.  Bill Belichick does not.

The Coach of the Year should be the coach who made the most out of the least.  Bill Belichick winning Coach of the Year is like your richest, greediest girl friend being proclaimed as the one with best shoe collection.

And can somebody tell me why if the punishment for SpyGate was so severe that the Patriots were not penalized their HIGHER pick in the upcoming draft?

This is so gay.

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Posted by | Madison | in News, Fantasy Football

00a794.jpgWhile Alikat was boob slapping in her bikini in Hawaii, I was doing the same in America’s heartland on a farm, with a bunch of cows…in a bikini, because that’s just how I roll.

I love my little rural vacations because there’s no cell service, no internet, and the satellite TV goes in and out when there’s a bit of weather - and if you were following the news over the last week, there was quite a bit of “weather” in the Midwest - but 12 days is about my limit and I’m actually glad to be back in L.A. with a ton of emails and messages to delete.

Anyway, there were some games the last two weekends. Some teams won, other teams lost but the big news is that my fantasy football team chose our league’s Super Bowl to go absolutely cold. After a season average over 100 points, we scored 42 points in the big game!

The other big news is whether or not it is the Giants’ responsibility to field a their starters on Saturday against the Patriots in what amounts to a “meaningless” game for them.

What idiot came up with this debate?

Of course it’s the Giants responsibility to play their starters on Saturday against the Patriots. Forget that I bleed Big Blue and that I can’t stand the Pats. The Giants are a fucking professional NFL football team. It’s their job to win games, not rest for the playoffs. Football is a game of heart. Resting is heartless.

It’s not as if Eli and the G-Men are a sleek, offensive powerhouse clicking on all cylinders going into the playoffs and could stand having a week’s rest to regroup from the vicious regular season. They are a wild card team riddled with questions and led by the retarded Manning. They might be making the playoffs but this isn’t a Super Bowl team. The best thing for their playoff chances is to beat the Patriots, gain some confidence and momentum, both of which are incalculably advantageous going into the post season.

I haven’t done a study but I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that the convention of resting players going into the playoffs results in less playoff wins.

So please Tom Coughlin, please play the game on Saturday as if it means something because it does. It means that you’ve got some fucking stones. This is my hope.

However, my prediction is that you will not. You will rest the starters, the team will lose to the Pats, go on to lose in the wild card game and you will lose your job.

Just remember, it doesn’t have to be this way.

(In what could turn out to be an ironic twist to this story, the Patriots B Team beat the Giants 27-20 in the pre-season.)

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Posted by | C.J. | in News

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So, what does it take for all of Texas to finally wake up and collectivly hate Jessica Simpson? Her vapid retardation becoming the personifcation of the modern Texan and in turn making her home state and everyone in it look like a redneck cretin? No, they’re cool with that. Her creepy preacher-manager dad and his lascivious fixation on her and her breasts? No, no problems there. Her awful movies which are no more than thinly veiled remakes of awful 80’s “classics” such as The Dukes of Hazzard, 9 To 5 and Private Benjamin? Nope, that doesn’t bother anyone either. Instead, it’s the all-but-certain jinx her apparently magical vagina has placed on the Dallas Cowboys. That’s right. We’ve found something Texans hate more than trying to prevent cervical cancer in women, and it’s losing football games!

The usually reserved Terrell Owens had this to say…

“Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium.”

Oh, DIS! In fact it’s gotten so bad, BoDog is placing odds on how long the relationship will last. For the record, It’s 2-1 it’ll last six months, and 6-1 they’ll be done within a month (and if Ali would tear herself away from Underground Boob Slapping Contests, we could have her weigh in on the odds). I’m no expert on love, but between a Professional Quarterback and a Famous Singer-Actress, I don’t see how anything could come between them. And if BoDog’s oddsmaking doesn’t top it all, there’s also a new web site entitled Ruin Romo Dot Com that has gone up to help opposing teams use the Jessica Jinx on Romo throughout the rest of the season.

So there you have it. Texas has finally come around (for the moment) on Jessica Simpson*. Now if only we could figure out a way to travel back in time, and get George Bush to hook up with Troy Aikman, and cause the Dallas Cowboys to go on some abysmal losing streak, we’ll save America!

*This of course, is only temporary as a killer rack, blonde hair and nice legs will be forgiven for all atrocities no matter how damning they may be. Just ask me, bitches!

Super Chauvanist Update: Yahoo! News has a report today Wondering If Women And Sports “Mix” which sites the experiences of fictional athletes. Enjoy!

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If you’re anything like me you have sexy curves, legs that go on for days and silky smooth hair. Also, you’ve been eagerly awaiting the release of ‘21′, the film adaptation of Ben Mezrich’s above pictured book, Bringing Down The House. Now while this may not have a lot to do with sports betting per sey it’s about blackjack which takes place in a casino so I say close enough. Also, it’s my blog, so…I win. Now, a little backstory on this book which I actually assume most of you have read…

The book Bringing Down The House - about a group of MIT students who start a card counting team to rip off casinos for millions of dollars - is one I read a couple years back when it first came out. It was a fascinating read and I finished the book in a night (though, admitadly this was from a time when I finished a lot of books in one night). Anyway, I think I read it actually the day it hit stores because I recall quite distinctly reading in Variety THE NEXT DAY that Kevin Spacey had purchased the rights. Needless to say, I’ve been following this project’s gestation over the years from one mediocre director to another. There was a period of time where I thought it might not get made, but then Robert Luketic (of Legally Blonde fame) got a hold of it, changed the name to 21 and wah-lah…you have the trailer I’m linking to now: where the Asian kids became white, the professor becomes evil, Vegas becomes a bad blue screen and music of The Doors somehow becomes relevant to a generation of kids four decades removed. You do the math. Now, some quick things I’d like to kvetch about (you know, aside from them massacring a great book and turning it into a mediocre movie)…

FIRST: What’s the difference between Kate Bosworth and a vaccum cleaner with a picture of Kate Bosworth’s face taped to it’s handle? Nothing. They have exactly the same amount of range and elicit exactly the same emotional response from a viewer.

SECOND: Film makers who make films in Las Vegas should know that - I swear to god - the town is larger than just it’s most famous street. I hate hate hate when I see movies set in Vegas that take place solely on The Strip, as if one block in any other direction is nothing but desert. Also, locals don’t hang out on The Strip. Some of us work there, but we really don’t spend every waking hour there. Just like New Yorkers don’t spend their free time at the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

THIRD: Is there any statement more clice, more cloying, more gag inducing then the ultra awful “In Vegas…” lines such as “In Vegas, you can become anyone you want.” Uggggh. I can’t help but believe that’s so awful even Bosworth had to fight to say it with a straight face.

Now while I’ll reserve judgement of this movie until I see it, it’s safe to say the people who cut the trailer work with what they’re given. This book was Oscar caliber material and they put it in the hands of hacks (seriously, if you haven’t read it I suggest you check it out. Great book and a very quick read). I was very excited about this movie up until the time I saw the trailer. Anyway, with that said…

Here’s the trailer for ‘21′. Let me know what you think. On the trailer. The book. Bosworth. Whatever.

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Posted by | Madison | in News

Redskins safety Sean Taylor was shot in his home early this morning and is in critical condition.  His femoral artery, one of the most important arteries in the body, was severed.

UPDATE: Deuce of Davenport has continuing developments on this tragic story.

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Posted by | Madison | in News

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Shawne Merriman is wasting away from Norv Turner Disease!

Oh wait, that dramatic loss of weight and muscle is actually due to Merriman getting off the steroids or getting his head pasted onto Jamal Williams’ body by the Chargers front office.

Who cares, really? Whatever the case, after getting his lights knocked out by Maurice Jones Drew, who is 50 pounds lighter, Merriman might want to consider getting on some of that flax oil.

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Posted by | Madison | in News

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Don Shula wants an asterisk if his old man lips are not privy to the fine, fine taste of champagne this year. 

“The Spygate thing has diminished what they’ve accomplished,” Shula said in an interview with the New York Daily News. “You would hate to have that attached to your accomplishments.”

Great Don.  Now you’ve done it.  Remember the last time the Pats’ achievements were maligned?  They went about a eight-game bitch slap tour of the NFL before meeting a team they couldn’t slap around - but in the end, still beat - in the Colts.  Now you’ve relit the fires under their asses.  Really super, Don.  You couldn’t hire anybody to club Brady’s knee so you resort to throwing around the threat of the dreaded asterisk? 

Plus, it seems like the rest of the Dolphins team isn’t even considering the Pats a threat to the record.

“You guys put forth the myth that we are pathetic losers down here clicking champagne glasses and clinging desperately to a record set 35 years ago,” former Dolphins tight end Jim Mandich told the Daily News. “Somehow we’ve been portrayed as being evil. We don’t ever blow our own horn. It’s a great record, but the record doesn’t get beaten.

“The Patriots have assembled a powerhouse of a team. They are a classy bunch of guys and play ball the right way. If they want to join the unbeaten club, come on aboard.”

Look, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the goddamn problem.  Stop trying to frame the coming destruction of your record by yapping about asterisks or allowing the Pats to join your unbeaten club and do something to stop them.  Sheesh, I knew Dolphins were smart but I had no idea that they could spin.  And just for the record (no pun intended), records don’t get beaten; they get broken. 

And Kissing Suzy Kolber’s emergency bounty increase to $60 plus a goodie bag is just not going to cut it.  Please.  Jeff Gilooley won’t conspire for less than a C-note, a case of Twinkees and a tub of ranch dressing. 

PDAs are very commonly used these days, so pda accessories are easily available everywhere. A large variety of pda batteries are available online as well. In fact, the trend of wireless pda keyboard is increasing every day.   

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