Posted by | Madison | in Links

• Does anybody even like the FOX NFL Sunday robot?  Or why they even use a robot to promote football?  I didn’t think so.  Now here’s your chance to kill the hell out of it.  (100% Injury Rate)

• Cunnilingus on national TV.  We love his enthusiasm just not his lack of grace.  (The Big Lead)

• Finally, someone besides Alikat has noticed Brian Billick’s inane playcalling.  His name is Ray Lewis and he’s God’s linebacker, yo.  (Scott Van Pelt Style)

• Newsflash: I can totally be bought and my price is simply love for my Giants.  You call them good, you get a link.  (The Ship of Fools) 

• Pittsburgh Steeler fans love to sing and their music videos are all directed by David Lynch.  (First and Ten Inches)

• Sophia Bush may be dating Tony Romo, who continually proves himself to be hot and completely void of good judgment.  If he had good judgment, he wouldn’t continue to be so damn scary to watch on the field and he’d be going out with me.  (Larry Brown Sports)

Posted by | Madison | in Links

In the endorphin induced euphoria of my 10k run, I mentally indexed the entire interweb and came up with these delicious links for your procrastinating ass:

•  There is some writing in this post about Chris Cooley but we were too distracted by the picture of his tight end and gams.  Brandon Lloyd’s thinking the same thing we’re thinking, “Dayum! Chris Cooley’s a long tall drink of water with legs that go on for days and a hot man ass.  I gotta get me some of that!” (Brahsome)

•  Meet the “Other” Tom Brady.  (Lion in Oil)

•  Light us a bong, Marijuana Man; smoke us out tonight. (First and 10 Inches)

•  Winning football games is not enough.  The Patriots want to beat your ass in bingo and take your money.  Beware of the video camera near the hopper.  (Deuce of Davenport)

•  Ed Hochuli is, in his own words, “just a pussycat.”  I totally get that because he totally reminds me of my dad, except more buff and meaner looking.  (Afraid of Ed Hochuli)

•  We broke down the “Crazy” match up between Randy Moss and Terrell Owens; Girls Gone Sports does God’s work and breaks down the hotness smackdown between Tony Romo and Tom Brady.  Yes, it’s true, we could give a fuck if their ruggedness is fake.  (Girls Gone Sports)

•  And while it’s not in the purview of our blog, it bears mentioning that the Colorado Rockies have made it into the World Series by playing unconscious baseball.  (Up in the Rockies at MVN)

Posted by | Madison | in Links

More hot links than you can give the bird to:

• Is the fifth video directed by David Lynch? (12 Seahawks Street)

• We got a perfect score. It must be our predilection for fashion; it uplifts the soul, boys. (Mental Floss)

• If the fat Michael Vick fan could run really damn fast, had stolen the purse thinking that it was filled with delicious, full fat ice-cream only to find that it was filled with low-fat doggie treats and was a member of PETA, now THAT would have been so ironic my head would have exploded. As it is, an obese Michael Vick fan stealing a purse is just funny. (With Leather)

• Brett Favre receives a Congressional Medal of Honor. Psyche. Just a House Resolution. Of the 68 co-sponsors of H.RES 697, two are from Illinois and four from Michigan. Apparently the Congressfolks in Minnesota don’t want to congratulate Favre for setting the all-time TD record in their house as there are NO co-sponsors from the home of the Vikings. If you live in Minnesota, take action - write your rep! (Lion in Oil)

• Here’s a Trent Green link round up because if he can still read, he’ll need to know the license number of the truck hit him and something to do while he’s not playing. (Kissing Suzy Kolber, We Suck at Sports, LOLjocks)

• In case you missed Monday Night Football, Awful Announcing has a live blog of the craziness. As you read it, you’ll notice boldface to call out awesomeness. Towards the end of the 4th quarter, they decided to go BOLD the rest of the way. (Awful Announcing)

• Even though some of us may have experienced the girl equivalent, no girl will never truly know the horror of the linked videos. My high school basketball coach mistook my height for being big and muscular, which I am not; I’m tall and svelte. Anyway, my silky smooth moves were forsaken and I was put in the post where a bevy of shorter and bigger girls would box me out, shoving their fat asses into my ovaries. It was merely uncomfortable. (Uber)

Posted by | Madison | in Links

Because I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things and because the internets continue to grow even when I’m on vacation:

• I still can’t get over the Mike Gundy tirade.  He is what we thought he was - a man.  A  man who is 40, not a kid and who doesn’t read the newspaper.  If you want to crown him, then crown his ass.  (Uber)
• “LEAVE AMERICA ALONE!  You are lucky there is even football in America so you can report the score in Spanish.  LEAVE AMERICAN FOOTBALL ALONE!”  (With Leather)
• God is slowly taking over the NFL and it’s about time.  It is his game after all being that its played on Sunday and all.  Just a question, if God is with you when you win, where the hell is he when you lose?  I’m wondering who Alikat is putting her money on in the God Rumble between the Lions and Redskins.  (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
• Speaking of which, this must be God punishing the folks in Cincinnati for supporting the Bengals and their wayward deeds over the past few seasons.  Striking down their entire linebacker corps wasn’t bad enough.  He’s a vengeful motherfucker.  By the way, Alikat, CJ and I all got our calls to play linebacker for them on Sunday.  Stay near your phones, Marvin Lewis might be calling you soon.  (Cincinnati.com)
• If Johnathan Lee Ritches ever wants to win a lawsuit, he should just join the class action against The Patriots and Bill Belichick.  (Lion in Oil and The Smoking Gun)
• This site is so genius, I wish I had thought of it myself.  It combines two of my favorite things - jocks and LOLcat macros.  Southeast Jerome is skerred of heights.  Genius.  (LOLjocks)
• We’re conflicted about this one.  On the one hand, if you can’t get it up to wear your team colors, you shouldn’t wear anything at all.  However, and this is a big however, we do love the silhouettes of the official NFL/Reebok female jerseys.  And if we think pink and powder blue are cute on us, we should be able to wear it without having any judgments made about us.  It would be like us saying that guys who buy beer marketed to them by hoochie ass girls with their tits hanging all over the place don’t really like beer.  Marketing’s a bitch isn’t it?  This is why we’re not posting pictures of us for now.  We want you to like us for our brains.  (We Suck at Sports)

Posted by | Madison | in Links

We just keep moving the chains here at Hot Chicks Hot Picks Sports Betting Blog.  All day long.  You can’t stop us.  You can only hope to contain us. 

• Roger Goodell is putting his foot down on the objectification of women!  Psych.  He’s putting his foot down on home field advantage by protecting the frail mental makeup of visiting NFL players who happen to find young, supple, flexible, pneumatic cheerleaders stretching in short shorts ”distracting.”  I wonder if MachiaBelichick had the Patriot girls actually warm up inside the visitor’s locker room.  That would be some devious shit.  (Foul Balls)
• Speaking of cheerleaders, I personally have not interest in looking like the thick thighed, blue eye shadowed, hair spray poof haired, bra stuffed cheerleaders of my high school.  The girl athletes at my high school never respected the cheerleaders.  Now, if you had a show that was called, “I want to look like a high school athlete again,” give me a call.   (Ladies…)
• Amazing, I know, but there are intelligent Eagles fans out there.  (Eagles Chick)
• Judging by Gross-man’s horrendous game yesterday, it’s truly time to reevaluate the sitch in Chi-Town.  However, there has always been a quarterback in Chicago who has the skills to take the Bears to the promised land.  And his name is not Kyle Orton.  (Out Route)
• The coaching STD known as Norv Turner is not only killing The Chargers, it’s also killing a fan.  In fact, he’s devoted a whole blog to the the NT.  We’re in love with him. (The Coach is Killing Me)
• And finally, all of the best old school NFL commercials ever.  I’m a little too young to remember seeing Namath sell panty hose (that must have given him carte blanche into all the girls’ pants back in the day) but I loved number 9 as a kid.  I’m kind of ashamed to admit this but I used to think Jim McMahon was the hottest thing around.  Of course that was around the time that I pegged my pants pegged, wore white Keds and had the “wet” perm so maybe it was just bad judgment of youth rather than an indictment of my taste.  (Uber) 

Posted by | Madison | in Links

Because there isn’t a whole lot of interesting news these past few days and because we’re link whores.

Well, I’d say “link bitches” but according to Isiah Thomas, since we’re not Black men, we can’t use “bitch” in any of its forms lest we offend people, even ourselves.

• Another reason why baseball is better than men?  Consistent wood.  (Babes Love Baseball)
• Ask Deuce McAllister a question!  Alikat wants to know, “Deuce, is your team finished running around like William H. Macy in Fargo and ready to attack with you and your inside rushing game like Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate?”  My question is a little more practical, “Deuce, when you make a gumbo and you have extra rice left over, do you dump the rice into the gumbo and call it jambalaya?  If not, do you agree with me that this is a cardinal sin?” (Chicks in the Huddle)
• I think we’re eight out of ten, nine if you count us in “titties and beer.” How many are you?  (Epic Carnival)
• Okay.  You’re going in front of the Senate to testify in front of a committee on the prevalence and dangers of concussions in the NFL.  You have the pick of the litter of former players and coaches to choose from and you pick Mike Ditka?  Da’ Mike Ditka?  That’s like bringing Webster to play in a basketball game.  (Deadspin)
• This is our third and last OJ mention.  The tragic story of LOLoj in Vegas.  It’s a LOLlercoaster of ROFilarity, baby! (johnnyhongkong says…)
• One of the items of note in the materials the Cheatriots handed over to Commissioner Goodell is MachiaBelichick’s newest innovation: the 3-4-7 defense.  Goodell is investigating but will likely let this 14 man defense slide. (Sports Pickle)

Posted by | Madison | in Links

I count playing the Alec Baldwin character in an adapted version of Glengarry Glen Ross where the management was played by chicks as my favorite acting experience. It wasn’t the biggest role but it was by far the best role. I’m reminded of it now as I’m writing the preamble to our link dump.

YOU: The links are weak.

ME: “The links are weak?” The fucking links are weak? You’re weak. The content’s out there, you pick it up, it’s yours. You don’t, I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out to those sites tonight and read, read, it’s yours. If not, you’re going to be shining my shoes. Buncha losers sitting around in a bar. “Oh yeah, I used to be a blogger. It’s a tough racket.” These are the new links. These are the Glengarry links. And to you, they’re gold. And you don’t get them. Because to give them to you is just throwing them away…

• AliKat and her Catholic upbringing almost scratched my eyes out when I sent this to her. God doesn’t hate the Vikings, he just loves Jon Kitna more. (The National Anthem Before a Cubs Game)
• Imagine how easy it would be to take advantage of him if he were laid up with a knee injury? You can count on us for another $20 into the bounty. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
• Charlie Weis doesn’t need nachos. He needs spy tapes AND nachos! (We Are the Postmen)
• However, it doesn’t seem to be helping Mangina win any games in New York. (We Suck at Sports)
• The Falcons sign Byron Leftwich and O.J.? This is our first O.J. mention! We held out really long. Do we get a prize? (Awful Announcing)
• ESPN is promoting topless ping pong? We say it’s the perfect way to bring the sexes together on the subject of sports: us girls get bouncing balls and you boys get bouncing boobies. (100% Injury Rate)
• After all his posturing, Terrell Owens actually loves Donovan McNabb. Well, someone has to. When will the media savvy and loudmouth T.O. make one of those “Leave Britney Alone” Chris Crocker parodies for McNabb? (Larry Brown Sports)
• And finally, a Top 10 Video Tribute to the Socratic wonder that is John Madden. (Uber)