My New York Football Giants beat the Atlanta Falcons 31-10 in a game that proved a lot more exciting than one of our more esteemed colleagues had it pegged for, at least in the first half.
As much I want to rag on Eli, he finally shed his “sha” and showed us some top 10 quarterbacking skills (at least according to Jaws; I’ve got Eli at 11, begrudgingly). With an offense and defense that seem to be clicking and a schedule that looks to be soft in the middle, I am cautiously getting my hopes up for Big Blue’s prospects this season. Meanwhile, who is pissed that it was Anthony Wright who came in at the end of the game to snap the Giants to victory as opposed to Pork Chop Lorenzen?
On to more important matters -
Amani Toomer, the man who has the most stylishly deadly sounding name in the NFL, set the Giants reception record and tied the touchdowns received record. In honor of his achievements, we are going sartorial and cancerous with the next two items…
Though the Atlanta cheerleaders wore those pink, fitted girly jerseys on the sidelines. While We Suck at Sports are correct in principal regarding girls wearing their teams colors, we still advocate for our right to wear colors and have the proper fits that make us look cute, lest we look like boys. As torn as I am about this issue, I think it comes down to my last line of defense against anything that causes me cognitive dissonance: whoever said humans, especially women, had to be internally consistent?
Besides, as the Falcons know, it is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so if you’re in your late twenties, get your baseline mammograms and don’t forget your monthly self-exams.
Speaking of which…
Whose jaw dropped when Mike Tirico said, “he’s loving himself after that interception” while DeAngelo Hall basked in the glory of picking off Eli Manning?
There were a few snickers before Jimmy Kimmel chimed in, “Uh, I didn’t know you could should a person loving himself on TV.”
Kimmel seemed to throw the broadcast trio in booth into a tizzy with his sense of humor, no? Kimmel’s question on whether or not they could partake in a bit of sports betting was met with Jaws’ all too vehement denial. Kornheiser tried to have a bit of fun with it while Tirico pretty much left the whole thing alone. I was half waiting for Kimmel to launch into his version of the Aristocrats to save his time in the booth.
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