Posted by | Madison | in Weekly Recaps

So yeah, we admit it.  We spent Saturday at the spa and then went out afterwards so we missed yet another set of upsets in the college ranks.  Is it just me or has the NCAA seen parity?

The top rated programs are still generally heads and shoulders above the rest but gone are the 54-0 blowouts.  And it seems like even when top programs win by a lot, the games are usually a hell of a lot closer than final scores would suggest.  Then, of course, as has been the case the this year, the top programs seem to get taken down with regularity.  We really need to figure out a new girls’ day-and-night out for the fall.  Missing these college games is becoming unacceptable.  By the way, did anybody see Boise State’s quadruple overtime victory over Nevada 69-67?

On to the recap of week six:

Washington 14, Green Bay 17:  The Packers find a way to win a week after finding a way to lose.  Brett Favre sets the interception record while not adding to his touchdown record.  Jason Campbell had a good game but lost.  God must have gotten tired of sitting on Joe Gibbs’ shoulder and spent the week chillaxin’ with Jon Kitna on his bye week.

Miami 31, Cleveland 41:  72 total points.  Crazy.  Miss Cleo Lemon had all of his psychic friends network mojo working but it wasn’t enough to best the offensive powerhouse of the Cleveland Browns, who I am now ordaining as the Patriots of the Mid-West.

Minnesota 34, Chicago 31: Who expected this kind of an offensive explosion?  I think Adrian Peterson is still running somewhere in Chicago.  Brian Griese played like a real, NFL quarterback, which in Chicago is really something to marvel at and savor.

St. Louis 3, Baltimore 22: The story here was that Rams - inept as they are - could not overcome six turnovers to win.  I mean seriously, we knew they were bad and riddled with injuries but when you’re given the gift of turning the ball over six times, you just have to win.  The Cowboys did last week.  Sheesh, Rams, what’s the deal?

Tennessee 10, Tampa Bay 13:  This was one of those games that was built for the last drive heroics of Vince Young.  However, Uncle Rico left the game with a leg injury giving way to Kerry Collins and it was the “other” mobile quarterback Jeff Garcia who drove the Bucs down field to set up the game winning field goal attempt with 11-seconds left.  

Philadelphia 16, Titans of New York 9:  I know that talent wise, the Jets are sort of like a college team but do they have to look like one with those blue and gold uniforms?  When we turned the game on, it looked like the Eagles were playing Navy.

Cincinnati 20, Kansas City 27:  Larry Johnson finally broke out…against a Bengals team that has to play anybody they can find at linebacker.  With no running game to speak of, the Bengals fall to 1-4.  Kansas City is tied for first in the wacky AFC West!

Houston 17, Jacksonville 37: The mighty Matt Schaub was benched late in favor of SAGE ROSENFELS who was 11 of 12 for 82 yards and a TD!  The Jags seem to be hitting their stride.  I know this game was against Houston but as Alikat will tell you, the Texans usually play the Jags well having won four of the last six against their division rivals.

Carolina 25, Arizona 10: Before we switched over to the game, Alikat said, “I bet you China Doll Warner goes down in this game,” and when the channel changed, we saw Warner being led off the field.  Vinny Testa-friggin-Verde went 20 of 33 for 206 yards and a TD against the team that tried to sign him earlier in the week.  How’s that for a fuck you?  By the way, both these teams are almost down to their wide receivers and punters on the QB depth chart.  I wonder when Ryan Leaf is going to get a call.

Oakland 14, San Diego 28: The division leader Raiders fall out of first place with a tough loss to the Chargers.  If Culpepper and the Raiders could have converted at the 1-yard line at the end of the half, the Valtrex that the Chargers have been using probably would have worn off and they likely would have had another outbreak of the NTD.

New England 48, Dallas 27: Tom Brady adds five touchdowns to his record setting pace of eleventy billion touchdowns.  Whoopie doo.  Watching the Patriots is like watching porn - a fucking bore.  Just like we know that everybody in the porn is going to screw in multiple ways, we know that Brady is going to throw TDs to multiple receivers.  What’s the fucking point?  I’m so over this shit.  Roger Goodell should come up with a new way for the Patriots to score.  Maybe Tom Brady has to play left handed from now on.  Or he should be the all time quarterback, playing for both teams.  That would rock.

New Orleans 28, Seattle 17: Finally…les bon temps have come back to New Orleans.  Now if only they can roulez for the next eleven games, the Saints can salvage the season at 12-4.