Posted by | Madison | in Weekly Recaps

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The third Sunday of the 2007 NFL season brought some surprises and solidified many of the league’s top teams. It has also has left a few pre-season favorites in a whirlwind of trouble. Teams like the Chargers and the Bears need to right their ships before they get eaten in the next few weeks by the proverbial Bermuda Triangle of the NFL’s sixteen game season.

San Diego 24, Green Bay 31: Favre ties another passing record while leading the Packers to another win. The Chargers can’t get anything going and I blame it all on Norv Turner. He’s the coach equivalent to an STD. No one wants the NT. The Redskins are barely just recovering from their NT. The Raiders are still mired in the after effects of the NT. The NT is sort of like the herpes. There is no cure, only suppression, as in you must suppress all of your urges to hire that STD as your head coach.

Buffalo 7, New England 38: The Patriots score 38 points again. Do deals with the devil count as cheating? If so, Roger Goodell should look into MachiaBelichick and Robert Kraft’s possible dealings with the Anti-Christ. The Bills can’t seem to keep any of its players healthy. Pretty soon, they’ll be holding tryouts up in Buffalo like Dick Vermeil did in Philly.

Detroit 21, Philadelphia 56: After a tumultuous week, McNabb tries his best to convince everyone that he’s a white quarterback leading the Eagles, wearing horrendous throwback uniforms, to a rout of the Lions. What’s lost in all of this is that Concussion Kitna threw for 466 yards. God must have been on his shoulder again. I’m proclaiming Jon Kitna as the new Kurt Warner 2.0.

Minnesota 10, Kansas City 13:
God this game was boring. I had to watch it because Alikat is a Vikes’ fan and we were at her house. I kept making her switch over to –

San Francisco 16, Pittsburgh 37: Which sucked pretty bad too, if you’re a Niners fan. The good news is that they hung tough for three quarters. The bad news is that the Steelers had worn them out by the 4th and had their way with the Niners in the last quarter. Meanwhile, Ladies… compares the hotness of Mike Nolan and Mike Tomlin. We’re all Nolan.

Miami 28, New York Jets 31: The Miami offense shows signs of life with Trent Green throwing for over 300 and Ronnie Brown rushing for 102 but they still fall to Chad “I’m Injury Prone” Pennington and the Jets. With this win, the Jets will still have to bomb Gillette Stadium in order to win the AFC East.

breakthrough_1.jpgSt. Louis 3, Tampa Bay 24: That old adage that defense is always ahead of the offense at the beginning of the season must be wearing thin in St. Louis as they can’t seem to do much of either. The Tampa Bay defense is beginning to find its rhythm, intercepting Bulger three times, and their offensive line held its blocks well allowing Cadillac to…uh…break through.

Arizona 23, Baltimore 26: The duel of the former starting quarterbacks, now back ups who probably should be starting came down to the final play. Kurt Warner, the former football playing robot powered by Jesus juice, led the Cardinals on a wild 4th quarter comeback which was unceremoniously ended by Matt Stover’s last second field goal. Brian Billick may become the first coach to rotate his quarterbacks like some teams rotate running backs. Shut your mouth. He’s an offensive genius.

Indianapolis 30, Houston 24: The new look Texans hung tough against division rival Colts without Andre Johnson, their number one receiver, and lost Ahman Green halfway through the game. In a scary scene, Texans tackle Cedric Killings left the field on a stretcher after suffering a neck injury on a special teams play.

Cleveland 24, Oakland 26: Lane Kiffin won his first game as Raiders head coach by pulling the timeout trick he learned the hard way from Mike Shanahan the week before. Daunte Culpepper looked sharp in his first action of the season relieving an injured Luke McCown. The media will rip Culpepper up tomorrow for going 8 of 14 for 118 and no touchdowns because he’s Black.

Jacksonville 23, Denver 14: This is the sort of football that we expect from the Jaguars - a ball control offense and a defense that can control the line of scrimmage. Though We Are (Brandon) Marshall had a big game, Travis Henry couldn’t get anything going.

Cincinnati 21, Seattle 24: Seattle should be ashamed of themselves. The Derekk Anderson led Browns put up 51 points on the Bengals last week and the Seahawks with Matt Hasselbeck, Sawn Alexander, and the mind of Mike Holmgren only managed 24? Not only did the Bungles have 10 penalties, their secondary couldn’t cover me on a stop and go.

New York Giants 24, Redskins 17: Good God almighty, Tom Coughlin staves off the firing line for a week as the Giants win a game and are still tied with Philly for last place with 13 games to go! Unfortunately, this tie won’t last long with the Iggles coming into town next week in the battle for sole possession of last place which will be national night game on NBC. Though Elisha once again played like a guy with a girl’s name, the Redskins just couldn’t put the Giants away.

Carolina 27, Atlanta 20: The David Carrolina Panthers reign has begun! Who kidnapped Joey Harrington (31 of 44, 361 yards, 2 TDs) and replaced him with vintage Dan Marino?

Dallas 34, Chicago 10: Rex Grossman had better start filing out his Monster.com. The Bears just aren’t going to be able to get it done with him at QB and if they don’t make a change soon, with all the injuries on defense, they may as well say nite, nite to the season. Maybe Hexy Rexy can go to McNabb’s Black quarterback support group because he is getting it about as bad as anyone in the NFL these days. Not only does Tony Romo look great, he looks great scrambling around and making pinpoint passes. He’s dreamy.

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