Madison just informed me of our sports betting pervert lurking around our site! I know I’m hot guys but there are plenty of sites out there specializing in the hot, juicy ass shots of chicks named Jenna, Belladonna, Foxy, or something Tequila. I’m pretty socially liberal, so whatever floats your boat go ahead, but I’m here for the money honey and I’ve got some great picks for week three.
MONEY PICKS
These are the ones that count for all you sports betting freaks out there and the ones I’ll be playing myself this Sunday!
1. Rams +3.5 at Bucs
The Rams have to get a win or the season gets ugly. In order to do that they have to get Stephen Jackson the ball 35 times and Marc Bulger has to start earning that 68 million dollar contract. They will do both this Sunday against the Bucs. The Bucs always play the Saints tough so last week isn’t a real truth of their ability. They give up good yardage in both the passing game and the running game. Even though the Rams don’t play the best outdoors in this kind of heat it is a must win for them so…
Go with the RAMS +3.5
2. Cowboys +3 at Bears
A great Sunday Night game in Chi-Town. T ony Romo has a chance to secure that huge payday he’s been looking for with a studly performance against one of the best D’s in the league. I like the match-up problems the Bears will have with T.O. The Bears should be able to throw against the Cowboys…oh wait a minute, they still don’t have a QB that can do that. Seriously Bear Fans, what is in the Chicago River that makes it so damn hard to find a QB that can play the position like a poised, intelligent, strong armed professional instead of some crazy drunk you’d find at Mother’s on Friday Night? The first one to come up with an answer can take me to Hawaii! This game is close throughout and comes down to Romo making the play that Grossman can’t.
Go with the COWBOYS +3
3. Colts -6 at Texans
The Texans are without WR Andre Johnson and that will hurt them Sunday as they try to score enough points to keep up with a irritated Peyton Manning. I just see the Colts getting back on track here after a tough battle against the Titans last week. The Texans will stay close for awhile but…
Go with the COLTS -6
4. Cardinals at Ravens — Total 35.5 points
The Cards have gone Over 7 out of their last 8 games. They have gone Over 4 out of their last 5 games on the road. The Cards love to pass it late when they are behind and this produces not only big plays for them but also provides INT’s for an athletic D like the Ravens have. They will score some on the Ravens and that will force the Ravens to open up their playbook. 35 1/2 points is not a whole lot for an NFL game given this match-up.
TAKE THE OVER 35.5 POINTS
5. Giants at Redskins — Total 40.5 points
Here’s a match-up between two teams that hate each other and one in which the Giants (and Madison) is desperate for a win. The Giants have gone Over in 9 of their last 13 games on the road. When they play the Redskins at Washington they are 5 out of their last 5 in Overs. The Giants can’t stop anyone on Defense and they need a victory, meaning they will pull out every play they have to win this game. When they are backed up this bad, Eli and company come out throwing and this spells big plays on offense and the Skin Defense. I look for this game to be 24-20 or 28-24!
TAKE THE OVER 40.5 POINTS BUY THE HALF POINT DOWN TO 40 POINTS
OTHER SUNDAY PICKS (plus match ups against the spread for the games I’m going over/under in my picks)
1. Chargers -4.5 at Packers
The Norv Turner era isn’t getting off to a blistering start, go figure! Phillip Rivers isn’t in a groove and L.T. has been getting shut down. The Pack have a very good D which will create some more problems for the Bolts. The Pack are dinged up quite a bit though and will have problems scoring points of their own against a very physical D led by Shane Merriman. This game will be tight unless L.T. breaks out with his Superman Cape, which is always possible. I like the Chargers to pull this one out but not sure about the cover.
TAKE THE +4.5 POINTS and THE PACK at Home
2. Vikings +3 at Chiefs
This could be a snoozer that will require lots of booze or lots of Money wagered to make it exciting. I wouldn’t waste my liver or money on this one even though I still love my Vikes! Kelly Holcomb will probably start for the injured Tavaris Jackson which won’t be such a bad thing. L.J. will still have trouble finding running room for a 3rd week in a row. The Chiefs suck and the Vikes aren’t exactly burning it up.
TAKE THE 3 POINTS AND THE VIKINGS
3. Lions +6.5 at Eagles
Haven’t actually seen a line posted the past 24 hours at Betonline, but the last time there was one posted this is what it was. The Lions think they are on a roll and the Eagles will sink if they don’t win this game. I gotta tell you I wouldn’t touch this game with that pervert’s “widget,” but I’m thinking the Eagles have to win and that goes a long way in the NFL.
TAKE THE EAGLES AT -6.5
4. Bills +16.5 at Patriots
What can you say about the Pats other than they look F…..G awesome? And the Bills? They suck! I do think this could be a little too rich of a line, but I never bet against the Pats when they are looking this good. My hat’s off to anyone that has the balls to take the points and the Bills in Foxboro. If you do I would make it a small play.
TAKE THE PATS -16.5 and NO MORE
5. Dolphins +3 at Jets
Both of these teams are 0-2 and need something to quell the press from ripping them to pieces. Miami never plays the Jets well in New York! Eric Mangini has more press to deal with than Cam Cameron so I gotta go with the Jets at home.
TAKE THE JETS -3
6. 49ers +9 at Steelers
This game is a true test to see what team is really worth the hype. I think the Steelers are for real and I also believe in what Mike Nolan has going in San Fran. The Steelers will blitz the hell outta Alex Smith as well as load up the box against Frank Gore. If Alex can grow up in this game and make some big time throws, the 49ers have a shot. The Steelers have been moving the ball pretty well even though it has been against suspect competition. I think this has the chance to be one of the best match-ups of the day. Tough game to call, but if I had to I would…
TAKE THE 49ERS +9 POINTS
7. Cardinals +7.5 at Ravens
Even if you don’t like my over/under call, this game will be a juicy one against the spread! I like the match up of a secondary that can be beaten in the Ravens against two of the best WR’s in the game in Fitzgerald and Boldin for the Cards. Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt faced off against these Ravens plenty in his days with the Steelers so nothing is going to overwhelm him. If Matt Leinart can stay calm in face of the crazy Ravens pressure the Cards could pull the upset here. The Ravens will have Steve McNair back at QB though I don’t really see that as an advantage. McNair’s time is up. In the end I think the Ravens will get a late turnover or Ed Reed will return a punt for a big gain and they’ll win, but if you like the point spread…
TAKE THE +7.5 points AND THE CARDINALS
8. Jags +3 at Broncos
This should be a physical game with the winner eventually wearing down the loser in the 4th quarter. When it comes to handicapping close games like this I look for two big things: QB and Coach. I n both categories the Broncos have the edge along with the fact they are playing at home in Mile High Altitude.
TAKE THE BRONCOS -3
9. Bengals +3 at Seahawks
Are the Bengals going to give up another 51 points? I don’t think so as teams seem to bog down in the upper Northwest. The Seahawks are coming off a tough brain fart loss against the Cardinals and can’t afford to go down at home. You just never know which team for the Bengals is going to show up. The Seahawks play well at home and I would…
TAKE THE SEAHAWKS -3
10. Browns +3 at Raiders
Can Derek Anderson be the savior in Cleveland? Not really, but he will try to scare up another win against a Raider team needing a win or another September probably goes down 0-4. The Browns have some playmakers on offense but the Raiders have a very solid pass defense. I think the Raiders will come out pissed and ready to roll up a win this Sunday but I wouldn’t trust them with any money.
TAKE THE RAIDERS -3
12. Panthers -3.5 at Falcons
Will the Real Panthers show up please! This is another team that’s schizo so betting on them makes no sense. They should beat the lowly Falcons and sad sack Joey Harrington, but these are the kinds of games the Panthers have lost over the past 3 years. I like for them to get a few picks against Harrington and win this one but I’d stay away.
TAKE THE PANTHERS -3.5 I WOULD BUY THE 1/2 point.
SERIOUSLY BOYS, STAY AWAY!
13. Giants +3.5 at Redskins
The Giants need a win or Tom Coughlin is going to be the first coach fired this season. He is to coaching what Andy Reid is to Fatherhood… JUST NOT THERE TO CONTROL THE REBEL SONS!
The Giants are more dysfunctional than the Brady Bunch Cast was off the set! The Redskins have got a good looking QB in Jason Campbell and he’ll have some nice TD tosses against the Giants weak secondary. The one thing I will say is the Giants have nothing to lose and always play the Redskins tough. This could be an old fashioned shoot-out in Washington come Sunday.
TAKE THE REDSKINS -3 BUY THE HALF POINT
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